The Theater of Life: Act I, Scene II

1:15 a.m.; All is quiet as Lauren and Ryan are sleeping soundly as a light breeze blows in the warm summer night. Ryan slowly drifts out of sleep, though his conscious is still trapped between what is real, and what is imagined...

Ryan: (Thinking to himself) "Whoever is tickling my arm...don't stop. I love tickles, especially when I'm this tired. It's weird that someone can tickle my arm when its hanging down between the bed and the wall. Especially since Lauren is on the other side of me. I don't care, it feels nice..."

As Ryan enjoys the relaxing touches on his arm, he begins to become more self-aware and leaves his dreamy state...

Ryan: (Still in thought) "Wait a minute...how is Lauren tickling my arm when she's on the other side of me and my arm is trapped down the side of the bed? Whats going...who... WAIT! What the heck is on my arm?!?"

In a single frantic motion, Ryan pulls his hand out between the wall and the bed, flailing it back and forth, smacking it on the bed. These actions, along with Ryan sliding his body toward the foot of the bed while dragging the sheets with him so as to get a look at what might have been on his arm, awake his wife Lauren.

Lauren: (In a confused panic) "What the heck are you doing?!"

Ryan: "Hurry! Flip on the lights!"

Lauren: "Wha...what's going on?!"

Ryan: "Just flip 'em on! Something was crawling on my arm!"

Sleep has now fled from the couples eyes, although new adrenaline is flowing in their bodies, especially in Lauren who is now jumping out of bed still not sure what is happening. Lights on. Ryan quickly searches the blanket and sheets, although nothing is seen nor heard. Lauren looks on in dazed anticipation hoping he finds nothing; as a find of any sort in her bed will undoubtedly mean no sleep for her for the remainder of the night, and a morning full of washing sheets... sheets which were freshly laundered earlier that day.

Ryan: "I swear there was something on me." (Ryan lets out a relieving sigh.)

Lauren: "You're such a spaz! I swear. You always do things like this. I bet it was just my hair tickling you. You always think my hair on you is like a spider or something... Can I turn the light off now?"

Ryan: "Yeah... Sorry dude."

Lauren: "Its ok Ry-dogg."

Lauren turns off the light and slowly crawls back into bed under the sheets she now assuredly feels are clean and safe. She cuddles next to Ryan and gently kisses his cheek and quickly drifts off to sleep. Ryan is now laying on his back with his arms folded, on Lauren's side of the bed, feet away from the wall. Although he is not scared in the least bit, he almost feels violated that some thing crawled on him... and got away with it. Ryan is still thinking...

Ryan: (To himself) "Maybe she's right. I don't think she is, but maybe. Whatever...who cares."

Ryan begins to lose track of his thoughts and sombers off.

3:25 a.m.-ish; Ryan is laying on his back much in the same manner as when he fell asleep after the commotion which happened hours earlier. He feels a slight scamper on the right side of his neck which brings him directly to reality. In one sweeping, magnificently smooth yet ferociously fast motion, he pulls his arm up along side his body, his hand grabs his neck under his right ear... He continues the motion and throws his hand forward as he leans up in the bed. He opens his hand at the apex of the arm's rotation. Silence prevails for a slight second, and then a thud is heard on the armoire cabinet door across the room, directly in front of the foot of the couple's bed.

Ryan: "Laur! Turn on the light!"

Lauren frantically sifts through the sheets toward an opening and scampers to the light switch. Lights on.

Lauren: (Out of breath...) "Are you serious?!"

Ryan: "Heck ya I am! I heard a freakin thud!"

Lauren: "For real?!"

The couple both lean from where they are, peering toward the foot of the bed to get a better look. Ryan crawls toward the foot and points a finger at the base of the armoire. A stunned roach of no less than 2 inches lies on its back, not moving.

Lauren: "Are you serious?! ARE YOU SERIOUS?!"

Ryan: "I knew it! I knew I heard a thud! I knew something was on me! (He lets out a chuckle...) I got that sucker. Look at it...its totally just laying there not moving. I threw that fetcher hard. It was like one swift throwing movement...while I was half-asleep! Awesome."

Lauren: "Well make sure its dead! Eeeewwwww!!!" (Let out with a shivering inflection in her voice)

Ryan crawls over the foot of the bed and smashes it with the bottom of the nearby clothes hamper. Ryan pushes hard so as to here the debilitating crunch noise he is looking for. He finds it. He crawls back into bed, smiling, and satisfied. Lauren, still completely grossed out turns off the light and crawls into bed feeling assured that her husband killed the only intruder in their cumfy cosy cave of a room. She now snuggles extra close to her man-of-a-husband so as to feel extra safe. A light breeze is heard outside the window in the serene timid night air. The two drift off asleep, and are left to themselves and their dreams, finally alone in their room.

END SCENE

One Whole Year!

Ok, even though I have to replace one of Ryan's awesome blog posts, I must report that yesterday, the 9th, was our 1 year anniversary!! I cannot believe just how fast this year has gone by. It is crazy to me that everyone claims that the first year of marriage is the hardest because ours was so great! I guess our lives are totally smooth sailing from now on:)

Being married is definitely a new experience, but it has been one of the best years of my life. It is crazy just how much you can grow to love someone and become closer every single day just a little bit more. Ryan is so amazing and I could not have been blessed with anyone more perfect for me. He is truely my best friend and it has been such a fun year.

So Ryan, being the funnster that he is, planned a fun trip for our anniversary weekend. On Friday night, we first had planned on eating at this great little pizza place in Phoenix, but when we got there at 5:40 (it opened at 5) there was already a 3.5 hour wait! Yeah, really. So we waited for about an hour and a half and they told us we had 2 hours left. Seriously. That is how small and yummy this place is... We finally decided to just leave and go somewhere else... Lame!

Here is a pic of the outside:

So we ended up at Oregano's, which was closer to our Hotel anyways. Ryan started getting a little fired up after we had waited about 45 minutes there too... It was the night of waiting I guess. Ha ha we were both so starving and it was getting pretty late. We finally ate a huge yummy dinner and desert and headed backto our fun hotel and watched movies.

We stayed at the Hyatt Regency at Gainey Ranch. It was so beautiful! It totally felt like we were gone on vacation somewhere else.

The next morning Ryan and I met my dad at a breakfast restaurant called Over Easy. We first saw it on The Food Network on Diners, Drive-ins, and Dives. It looked so good so we decided to try it out. The food was seriously so delicious! The prices were also really good which makes it even better! We will definitely be going back. I think Ryan won with the yummiest choice of food (French toast with caramelized bananas, pecans, and real maple syrup)!

We then headed back to our hotel to swim and lay out for a few hours. It felt so great outside (maybe 105) so it wasn't totally miserable laying out. There were lots of fun pools and we met some friends there so it was fun.

After getting totally fried in the sun, we came back to the house and got ready to go to the movies. We went and saw 500 Days of Summer. It was pretty good I guess... There have not really been many movies out lately that I have been that excited to see. This adventure ended our mini anniversary vacation. We both had so much fun and it was great for it to just be the two of us! Thanks Ry dogg for such a fun weekend! I love you.

I just have to conclude with the card that ryan gave me on Sunday, our real anniversary day... He is such a dork, but anyone who knows him knows that this totally is him! I loved it.

Then the inside says "Love means never having to say, 'Excuse Me.'" Happy Anniversary! Ha ha of course! He did write a very nice letter to go with, but the card kills me because everyone knows I am totally not a fan of this stuff... (like the story he wrote about a few posts ago). Anyway, these are just some highlights from our great weekend!

"Booking"

My wife is a great booker. Thats a noun. " '\bu-ker\' ; n. Someone who engages in prolonged periods of reading the lives and stories of others either through the printed page or the internet portal known as Facebook." A great booker I tell you. I honestly wish that I could match her in this gift of hers but for some reason I just can't get motivated to do it. Its my only personal flaw that I'm aware of...although others say they've found a few. Like I was told the other day not to pick my nose in public...but its so dang dry in the AZ and it feels so good to get one of those itchy dudes out. But this blog is not about my picking...thats for the most part under control. Although there will be some other "picking" to come...

So like I said, Lauren is into books and Facebook. And I envy that. And I'm pretty sure everyone else besides my parents and I have a Facebook thing too. But at least my parents read books. Its so hard for me to get into a good book. And even more, the overwhelming task of getting a Facebook account and the amount of time I'll have to devote to the initial addiction which is sure to come (the "I have 4 new friends! Who are these new friends...click, click" etc. etc.) and maintenance of the site is daunting. Hauntily daunting. Like scary almost. Plus I dont know about everyone on the planet poking me and bein all up in my bidnass, ya know?!

But Lauren, she's a master. She can read a couple books a week and tell me all about them and be all excited to read them til the end. She just cuddles up with her blankie that she's had since she was 6 months old and intensely reads away. And in-between chapter breaks she can seemlessly Login to The Facebook and see everyone's life and pics and drama and live it up there too with lots of, "Are you serious's" and "She's engaged?!'s" a ton of "eww!!!'s" and some "Look at this!!'s"...to name a few.

I wish I was a booker is what I'm sayin. I read scriptures and I love the FoxNews and ESPN apps on my phone and I'll read those everyday...but apps are not books so the only book in those readings is the sciptures, which I must say to my credit is a pretty good book to read. I just lack that motivation to get down and dirty and "book" like so many of you guys that read these blogs do. Even my cousin who swore off Facebook as a foolish time-waster just signed up I heard...I wouldn't have known he did of course other that Lauren is now his "friend". As if they already weren't family. Gosh. Brock.

Anyhoo this is booking in action:

Notice the Booker's joy in her booking. And also how she picks her feet. There's the "picking" I said you'd see later. A subconscious thing she has I think. Just weird to me that someone so beautiful does that. Foot dust all up on that couch now.

In this next image the Booker has obviously come to a plot twist which she of course had already known would happen because of her intense skills in deducing these sort of things.

Here the Booker is trying to picture the hero as a muscle clad version of her husband. She doesn't have to try very hard. She knows how Pepsi tightens up his abs.

And finally, booking can be a "no joke" serious venture. Like they get mad for some reason when you steal their book and try to wrestle.

So, after all is said and done, I've decided to be like my wife and take up booking so I stop missing out. And since we just saw that new Harry Potter movie, and since I've seen em all and read none of the books, I've decided to read the final series-ending one. So I'll start tomorrow most likely. Except Facebook maybe another day... and Lauren just showed me the Harry Potter book... looks pretty thick.

Spousal Air Karate

Sometimes you have to do this. And sometimes, you are even more awesome than you think. And sometimes, spousal air karate is always appropriate. And sometimes, my grammar and word usage is fantastic. Here it is...


And also, you know you are a manly man when you put on a pink lucha libre mask and wrestle a black devil dog. After the fight we shared a Dos Equis "XX" in the shade. Stay thirsty my friends.

Four Months!

Ok everyone... I know it has been almost four months since our last blog. We are total slackers. You all know that if you don't blog frequently, after a little while the events keep building up, and then the whole task seems so daunting. That is us. There has just been so so much going on since February that neither one of us have wanted to attempt it. I am going to make a list of the things that have been happening so it is easier. Pictures will be added later :)

1. Ryan was working down in Arizona pretty much every other week for the whole Winter semester so I was home alone a lot and just busy with school stuff. He is such a hard worker and I am so grateful for him! I was lucky to have Raegan be able to come stay with me sometimes or keep me company.

2. My birthday was March 3 and I had the best day! Ryan had my birthday presents ready for me in the morning. Ha ha I like the "Happy Birthday" banner up in the morning so I know Ryan was putting it up at 3:30 in the morning when he said he was "getting a drink." The two tasks do not sound the same:) He made me the cutest book of things that I got for my birthday. I got jeans, treats, and a trip to Vegas to stay in the Venetian. Ryan is from Vegas and had never stayed in a hotel on the strip!! We all went to dinner that night at some place in Salt Lake and when we got home there was a surprise party for me! Ha ha I seriously was so surprised. I did not even know. There was lots of people there and I got tons of fun presents for my 21st birthday! I couldn't believe Ryan could pull everything off without me knowing! He is the best!!















3. The next week we went to Las Vegas for Ryan's friends wedding and to use our stay at the Venetian. We drove down with Ryan's friends and stayed our first night there at his cousin's house. Thanks Brock and Veronica for always letting us crash there! The next day we ran errands and hung out on the strip. I was starting to feel sick for some reason that day so Ryan had this great idea to have me drink an energy drink. First of all I don't even drink pop or caffeine, Second I especially do not drink energy drinks. So he chooses out one called a shooter... on the back it says "Warning. Only drink half to determine your tolerance." Ha or something like that. So of course I just down the whole can in five minutes. Let me just tell you I have never, ever been so wired in my life!!! I could not stop shaking and could NOT sit down. It was seriously crazy. I am NEVER drinking one of those again!! Ha so we went to eat that night at the funnest restaurant in the Paris called Mon Ami Gabi. It was so amazing and I loved it so much that the executive chef sent me the recipe for the dinner that I got. I highly recommend it! On our way back from dinner we played a little Wheel of Fortune, which I was insisting that we were not going to do, and won all of our money back :) With the extra we went shopping and bought some fun things. The next day was his friend's wedding. We raced from the Venetian to the temple just in time for it to start. We hung out with Ryan's friends all day and went to the movies to wait for the reception to start. It was a great weekend! Even though I was feeling pretty miserable and sick most of the time, I loved it. Ryan left straight to AZ from there and I came back up to Utah with my mother in law and Kjersten.
4. My family came to stay with us over their spring break! It was so much fun having them stay at my house. We did lots of fun things like Jump On It, movies, lots of eating, shopping and more. My grandma Davis helped me make a cute wreath for my birthday present. I love it. It was a great week!
5. We came down to Arizona for conference. We had so much fun! Honestly though, I think Ryan made me come because he felt bad leaving me so much. Ha ha it was fine though because I love being here with my family, even though school stuff was extra overwhelming at the time. It was a great break.

6. Raegan's Birthday was on April 6th! On her birthday we both had school stuff all day but in the evening everyone came over for birthday treats and presents. It ended up being so much fun with everyone there!7. Easter and Wicked! We had a great Easter Sunday with stake conference and lots of candy and presents in our Easter baskets. Later that evening we went to see the Broadway musical Wicked at the Capitol Theater in Salt Lake. It was the most amazing show I have ever seen. We had front row tickets due to the fact that Ryan and Brady waited in line at 4:00AM in December freezing cold all night long :) Love them. We could see all of the amazing costumes, dances, props, and singing right up close. It was so so fun!

8. Brittany had her bachelorette party on the 18th! We all had so much fun. We went to Texas Roadhouse for dinner then went back to Brit's apartment for games and treats. Ha ha all the the gifts were so fun and we all had a great time.

9. Finals week was over on the 23!! Yay!

10. Ryan decided that we needed to build a patio in our back yard. Around our house, if you didn't already know, we do everything ourselves. This was a HUGE project ha ha. So we went down and ordered tons of sand and sandstone to be delivered to our house. First we had to get a machine to get up all of the grass where the patio was going to be, second we layed sand down and made the yard level, third you start laying the stones in like a mosaic puzzle!! Each one has to be wiggled down and level. Oh my gosh, what a task. Ha ha thanks everyone in Ryan's fam who came to help us everyday. It was definitely not a very fun job. After the stones were all layed we filled in the cracks with a cement and sand mixture. Finally Ryan built a gas fire place in the middle of the patio. That is the sweetest part. I am so so excited to use it in the fall when we are back up at our house. The patio looks so so great. I am so happy to have a husband that is such a perfectionist and can do everything so great.

11. We had a week where Brittany and Raeg stayed at our house because they both had to be moved out of their apartments. It was so fun having friends there all the time with us!

12. Lydia's 22nd Birthday! Ryan, Kevin, and Ryan's dad had already gone to AZ at this time, but we all went out to dinner to this fancy Italian restaurant in Salt Lake. I branched out and actually tried something new. I got some risotto meal with gutta cheese. It was really good, but I am not sure I have eaten enough fancy things to love it. It was such a fun restaurant and I loved the atmosphere so much! We will definitely have to go back. Ryan's mom also made Lydia the cutest cake ever the night before Ryan left. It was delicious!! I am sad I don't have a pic because it looked fake it was so cute.

13. We packed up all of the stuff that we needed to move down to AZ for most of the summer.

14. Brittany had her bridal shower here in Mesa with everyone. Brit and I came straight from the airport to the house she was having it at. It was the cutest party. Everything was decorated so cute and fun. It was great to be with all of our cousins, family, and friends again!

15. Lots of wedding prep. We made our "wedding committee" to help out with getting stuff ready for Brittany's wedding. I had so much fun helping make things and run around getting stuff for it. I loved being there to go with her for her first time through the temple and then the wedding dinner two days later!

16. The wedding. The wedding was so so beautiful!! I am so happy for Brittany and Brady! They are the cutest couple and our best friends! We had such a fun time dancing, eating, and hanging out with everyone!
17. Lots of dance recital props to make with my mom... ugh. My mom is the busiest woman I know during the month of May. I was so happy to be here to help her out with her end of the year school stuff, dance recital stuff, and girls camp things. Hopefully now that it is summer time things will be a little less crazy!!
18. The annual Show Low softball tournaments. I love, love going up to watch the softball games. I have been going since I was born. The weather was so nice and it is so fun to hang out with everyone up there. It was Ryan's first time going up there and I think he is hooked.

19. I have had a job. Ha ha. It was a two week job working for my aunt Charlotte doing the Shade Clothing roadshow in Costco. It is an easy job, but kinda extra boring. Oh well! I had nothing else really to do so it was a great little job!

Sorry for the EXTRA long post, but it has been four months so I just wanted to update everyone on what has been going on in our lives.

Knock Knocking the Arizona Cardinals' Coaching Staff

This is for the Arizona Cardinals' coaching staff in the first three quarters of the Super Bowl...

"Knock Knock..."

"Who's there?"

"Larry Fitzgerald..."

"Larry Fitzgerald who?"

"Exactly."

Retards.

Luckily you guys realized he was on your team in the 4th quarter where he scored two, count'em two, touchdowns and helped the Cards save face. Go Cards! Boo coaches.

TAG and a Long week

So I am writing something for the first time in a long time… Ryan has been pretty good about updating and he writes much funnier things than me so I think it is better that he does anyway. I just want to tell you that this has been one of the longest weeks EVER!! Ryan, Eric, and Paul left last Sunday to Arizona for some auctions and don’t come back until tomorrow! K that is a full 8 days… ha ha I know I am a baby, but I really really hate being here all alone! I have tried to keep busy, but it just feels like an eternity when I get home and am here by myself. Luckily Sue called me to go down to Vegas with her on Thursday so that was something fun to get me out of here. The weather was amazing and I wish we could have stayed longer! We went to Uncle Eric’s birthday party which was so fun , did a little shopping, and ate lots!! But here I am back alone again (in Utah!) on Sunday… lame. Plus I look outside and SNOW is covering everything again!! Ahh. I am the worst driver in snow!! I cannot wait until tomorrow when Ryan gets back!! Ha ha I feel like this is a big complaining blog, I am sorry! K now onto the TAG from Kjersten!

TAG
1. What time did you get up this morning? 7:00
2. Have you brushed your hair yet today? Not yet
3. What is the name of the last song you listened to? I seriously don’t know
4. Do you like to text? Yep!
5. Facebook or My Space? Facebook for sure
6. Where is your favorite place to go? Carlsbad over 4th of July and up to the mountains
7. Do you have a passport? Yes
8. Are you in love? Of course!
9. Have you ever had a broken heart? Um… I think so, but it was fine
10. When was the last time you "laughed your head off"? Two days ago
11. When was the last time you cried? Last night
12. What is the best gift you have ever gotten? My husband
13. What was the best day of your life? My wedding day!
14. What was the worst day of your life? Probably somewhere during my junior year of high school
15. Pepsi or Coke? Neither, but I would take coke
16. Are you wearing socks? Yep, big, fluffy warm ones
17. Did you like high school? I guess so
18. Where is the last place you went out to eat? The Original Pancake House in Vegas
19. What is your biggest accomplishment in the past year? Getting married and closer to graduating
20. What is one random fact about you? I could eat cereal, of any kind, for every single meal of the day most days of the week. I LOVE it

I tag Brittany and Morgan

The Theater of Life: Act I, Scene I

(Lauren and Ryan lying in bed trying to fall asleep. Ryan keeps turning to and fro unable to sleep.)

Ryan: I can't flippin sleep.

Lauren: I know. I can tell.

Ryan: My stomach hurts like none other.

Lauren: Me too. Mine's been hurting all night.

Ryan: Ah man. I hope its just gas.

Lauren: It better not be.

Ryan: I hope it is.

Lauren: Then you better as heck turn your body away from me! And, you better stick your bum out of the covers so your nasty toot isn't trapped under the blanket! I'm serious.

(Laughter ensues. Ryan continues to laugh as Lauren reaffirms that she is not joking. Ryan tries to push one out just cause it'd be exceedingly funny at that moment. But, there is nothing to push out and he doesn't want to push to hard because he learned a long time ago that that is not a good idea.)

Lauren: Wait, did you really just turn away from me and stick your bum out of the covers?!

Ryan: Yes.

(Lauren now laughes uncontrollably. Ryan's stomach still hurts. Laughter dies down and a minute of silence prevails.)

Ryan: I guess I don't need to toot after all.

(Lauren begins laughing again and Ryan covers his body with the blankets and slides back next to Lauren.)

Ryan: Wait, did I just say toot instead of fart?

Lauren: Yes you did.

Ryan: I can't believe I'm saying words like that now. Its rediculous. Toot? Its a fart.

Lauren: No, its a toot.

(Minutes pass. Lauren drifts off to sleep. Ryan slowly gets comfortable, too comfortable, and not wanting to wake up his cute sleeping wife, gently and quietly rips one, next to Lauren, under the covers.)

END SCENE.