Wednesday, February 28, 2007

Never Lose a "Walking Battle" Again!

So you know when you're walking and another person is walking right at you from the other direction...and then the both of you have to make a decision about which way to move so that a nasty collision is avoided? More often than not you end up looking dumb and embarassed because the both of you start studder-stepping inches infront of each other. Well, not anymore! I've found a way to win that battle everytime and never play the fool ever again. It's so simple, yet completely effective. All you do is put your head down and keep walking. Thats it. The other person assumes you're not payin attention to the world around you so they better get out of the gosh dang way before the person with their head down crashes into them. It works. I try it all the time on campus, and I have never in the hundreds of times of potential embarassing run-in-to's EVER lost a battle. There was one time though that the person didn't move (because they were totally out of it) and we crashed. But it was all good cause she was cute and I ended up taking her out that weekend, so I count that as a victory. Anyway, try it. Next time you're walking in a crowded place, say Disneyland or The Great Wall, put your noggin down and watch everyone get the heck out the way. It'll change your life. It's like having the power of Fessic from Princess Bride when he says, "Everybody move!!". Totally awesome you guys.

Tuesday, February 27, 2007

Michael Jackson is surrounded by Mormons!

I kid you not. Michael just bought a house in Vegas and he put himself smack dab in the middle of the Palmyra Ward. He is in the ward bounderies for the Kinghams, Eric and Lynita Nelson, and the Harbers! I swear, no joke. At first I thought it was a lie when I heard where he was living...but sure enough, I drove by with Jesse Harber and my friend Layne at like 1o pm last saturday night and I freakin saw him in his Bently with his windows down with his driver (I think he must have been a driver) and they were talkin to the gate guy. It was all lit up so you could totally see it was him. Weird. Anyway, if you're in town, his house is on the corner of Tara and Monte Cristo, the big gated one (look at the link). Two doors down to the north is where the NBA player Gary Payton's house is. I drove by the next morning and there were two pimped out caddies parked outside and the license plate I could read said, "Big J", on it. How weird is it that he's in my aunts' and uncles' ward?! Maybe they can find a way to get him baptized...I hear the nursery and young mens could use some help. Here's some proof for all you skeptics:

Sunday, February 25, 2007

Should I date or get a root canal?

Right now both look about the same as far as funness go. And, lucky me, I need to do both. A filling just fell out of a tooth due to some "exceptional" past dental work and now its killing cause crap keeps gettin in the hole. How dumb is that. I won't tell you the dentist's name, but if you ever had a filling fall out, ya, that guy did it. But like the good ol dentist says...that's not pain you're feeling, it's pressure. My A.

As far as the dating situation goes, its a little bit of pressure and pain. I started dating this girl in Vegas a couple of months ago and we've had alot of fun. Thing is, she lives and works in Vegas and I'm up here in Happy Valley. Long distance is super fun. Just like root canals. BUT (and that's a big butt ()() ) (<-- K, thats funny), this girl is a ton of fun, down to earth, and is a good girl. Herein lies the problem...she's dating me.

For some reason I just didn't get so attached to her as she did to me. I love spending time with her cause its far and inbetween that we get to hang out due to the distance factor, but for some reason I just haven't "come around" like she has... and I feel like crap. Cause now all the "what are we" questions start to get asked, which is fair for her to ask. Only now I need to be honest and tell her that as much as I have a blast with her, for some reason I'm just not as into the actual relationship as she is. What am I supposed to say..."Its not you it's me?" Ok thats absolutely true, but its absolutely lame to say. Dang it I suck.

So I finally had a good talk with her and she understood that I'm not looking for anything serious right now, but it still kills me inside to see her hurt and confused. Like she doesn't feel like she's good enough or some junk like that, which is not true. I just feel I should be totally into it if I'm gunna get serious, otherwise I'd just be leading this great girl on. I hate doing this stuff. Again, I suck.

Maybe I should just be a dentist. I could crappingly apply fillings to cover some pain I've caused, just like trying to cover the girl's hurt I caused by trying to explain why I'm confusing even myself. My explaining my feelings is just like a crappy filling. See, that was a crappy attempt at an analogy for an in point. But, we've all been on both sides. We've all been shot down, and we've all had to explain why things weren't working. I just hate it. The freakin' "DTR's". Having a DTR is like throwing hate to do it, you try not to...but once you spill your guts you feel alot better and maybe you can go eat some more.

In any case, my tooth hurts. My heart hurts cause this great friend I have isn't too thrilled with my "slow-movin" A right now. Maybe I should just be patient and take it slow with her and me. Any ideas? I mean, somehow you tards got married so I'd appreciate any insights. Til then, I'll keep flickin bits of steak and chips out of my gaping tooth hole with my toungue.

Friday, February 23, 2007

BYU fans are Idiots...

Ok, here's the thing... when I say BYU fans are idiots I'm not speaking of the average go-to-a-game-just-for-fun fan. I'm talking about those guys who swear that BYU is the University of Heaven and that anyone who plays against them must surely have made a deal with Mr. Satan. So I'm at this BYU basketball game the other night and I'm tryin to be supportive to the whole BYU cause, because I go there and I know some of the cougarettes who dance during the time-outs (sweet), but I can't help but realize how stupid the people were who were sitting around me. Don't get me wrong, I understand that fans at a game aren't always well behaved or even make sense half the time, I know, I'm stupid like that sometimes. But not like this... These guys had THE worst trash talking of all time, it just didn't make any sense. D-U-M dumb. Not only that, but they thought they were the wittiest people who ever lived. It was driving me nuts... Sure I had a UNLV shirt on in the middle of all those idiots, and sure my shirt said, "Real Mormons are Rebels" on the back, and sure, UNLV wasn't even playing that night, but come on. Telling me that I was an apostate who was sure to burn in hell and that Nephi would be disappointed in me is a little dumb. Alot dumb. And believe me, there were much gay-er things said.

Now I can understand fans saying some pretty nasty things to other people at say, the Thomas and Mack or any other arena that sells beer. They have an excuse for acting like retards... alcohol. But not at BYU. There isn't even caffeine in the beverages there. No excuse for how bad of fans they can be. Unless these idiots are gettin hopped up on Mountain Dew before the game, they have no defense.

Now that bein said, I like BYU. I love going to the football games and all the other stuff there too. I just wish people there could think before they speak. Man alive. There is only one team that people should truly be spiteful of, and that is, of course, Duke. Duke can go to hell. And that is not a rash remark, it is well thought out and can be backed up by anyone who is rational. BYU may not literally be the Lord's University, but Duke's greatest supporter is the devil. That's the truth. And by the way, I heard that the devil is a democrat, and so Duke is a liberal college. So there ya go, proof enough.

Anyway, I love the BYU athletic program. I love going to the games. And I especially love wearing red to those games whether or not UNLV is playing. I just wish the fans there could be a little more, um, tactful. Ah, who cares.

Thursday, February 22, 2007

I must be a late bloomer I guess

Yeah yeah, it's about time that I get one of these blogs. I figure, I completely suck at journal writing and I love talking about myself, so hey, why the heck not. Two birds yo. Plus, reading everyone else's blogs makes me feel like I'm the last one from Vegas to finally give in and get one of these things...suckers. Not only that, but most of my friends are married so this gives me the opportunity on letting everyone know how much all ya'll are not missing out on when it comes to single livin. Single life is actually pretty good, probably alot like blogging...ya know, sittin alone tryin to think of cool things to say so that the people that hear you might just think you're awesome. Haaaaa. I'm just kiddin. Anyone who knows me knows that I don't need the confirmation from anyone for me to think I'm awesome. Oh man. In any case, it's good to start one of these things up. And maybe some of you will be inspired enough to set me up with one of your hot single friends so I can join the cool married club too, not only the cool blogging one! But until then, hopefully I can figure out how to post some entertaining things on this page and have some fun with it.