Ryan and Lauren Nelson

Change

2011-04-05T17:02:00.000-07:00

We made a big change, or have been in the process of for some time now, of moving to Arizona. I have the hardest time with change of any kind and I thought this talk below was great to help me "get on with my life."

Within one month we bought a house in AZ, waited for it to close, started working on it, drove back and forth between UT and AZ 100 times, closed up on deals in Utah, got released from our callings, rented the upstairs and downstairs of our house in one day, went to Las Vegas for family things and picked up a trailer, got back to our untouched house in UT at 9:00PM Sunday and packed our whole entire house the next day on Monday, and Ryan and trailer took off to AZ Tuesday morning. Since that Tuesday morning of March 22, I cleaned our house in Utah and drove down to AZ for good. It was a sad time for me. Sleeping on an air matress, alone, in our empty house brought back so many great memories that we have had there. There was a ton of blood sweat, and tears put into that cute little house in Orem. So many projects, family gatherings, visitors from out of town, birthday parties, college graduation, our first house together being married, awesome neighbors and the list goes on. I have grown to love the mountains and the beautiful green plants and flowers everywhere.

Before:

After:

I guess it is just the end of one era of our lives and onto the next to make more great memories in a new place. We have torn this little home in AZ all apart with the help of so many and it will soon be just as cute as our home in Utah (hopefully!) I am sure our home in Arizona will bring us as much happiness as our home in Utah has. We will miss all of the family and friends in Utah, but I am back at home with all of my family and most of Ryan's here in AZ... what more could we ask for?! We have been so blessed. I am so grateful for these opportunities in my life.

Get On with Our Lives
Elder Steven E. Snow
of the Presidency of the Seventy

We too need to “get on with our lives.” Most of us do not seek or even welcome dramatic changes. But change is an essential part of life’s experiences.... Too often we are reluctant to enter the next stage, begin the next challenge. Maybe we are too comfortable, fearful, or lacking in faith...

How can we then best prepare for the changes we must inevitably face as we progress through life?

First, follow the prophets. Listen to and abide by the counsel of the Brethren. Prophets often raise a voice of warning but also provide steady, pragmatic counsel to help us weather the storms of life.

Second, keep an eternal perspective. Understand that change and challenges are part of God’s plan. By design this mortal existence is a time of testing or a time “to see if they will do all things whatsoever the Lord their God shall command them” (Abraham 3:25).

Life’s challenges and changes provide opportunities for us to grow as we exercise our agency in making righteous decisions.

Third, have faith. President Thomas S. Monson has counseled us that “faith and doubt cannot exist in the same mind at the same time, for one will dispel the other” (“Come unto Him in Prayer and Faith,” Liahona, Mar. 2009, 4; Ensign, Mar. 2009, 6).

Fourth, be of good cheer. Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin taught how to respond to adversity. Part of his counsel included: “The next time you’re tempted to groan, you might try to laugh instead. It will extend your life and make the lives of all those around you more enjoyable” (“Come What May, and Love It,” Liahona and Ensign, Nov. 2008, 27).

People Watching...

2011-03-01T09:42:00.000-08:00

I've gotta say, one of my most favorite activities to do is to people watch. Its free, its everywhere, it's fun, and you get to witness drama without having to get in trouble, most of the time. Watching people in the movie theater before it starts is always a good time. The BYU library was always a classic...boy looks/stares at girl across the room, he hopes she looks up...wait what?! She looks up?! Boy looks down super quick. Pansy. And just the other day Laur and I were at Barnes & Noble in Orem and I had some pretty good people watching as we looked at some kitchen/bath magazines to get some ideas for our new Mesa pad. The best is the guy(s) who stand around the sports area at the magazine racks pretending they're looking at ESPN The Magazine, or Men's Health, and their eyes are really looking about 3 feet away at Maxim. This was the case when I was there. I watched until he finally had the guts to pick up the magazine. So, I got up, and turned my people watching from passive to active mode, and walked behind him to put away one of the magazines I was done looking at ("Amazing Kitchens and Baths" if you wanna know, real manly stuff). I stand right next to him and he immediately notices me and says real quiet as if to himself, but purposely loud enough for me to hear, "What the?! This is a weird magazine." And then hurriedly stuffs the Maxim behind the wrong stack of magazines and walks away. Good times. Good times.

Anyway, the other day we were in Mesa and I was with Lauren's mom and sister. We were coming back from a game Lauren's sister was cheering at and they decided to stop at Tia Rosas to pick up some burritos (or "burros" as Mesa-ites claim they should be called) for dinner. Laur and I had gone to eat an hour earlier and I was still stuffed, so I was just along for the ride. The place was starting to get busy, as it always does cause its tasty, but we baaaarely beat the rush...like 10 people followed us into the place. Its a great feeling when you beat the crowd isn't it?! It makes you feel you are far superior than those people, right?...I mean, if they would've only thought ahead or had better driving/parking skills they could be like you, at the front of the line. Anyway, so we order and get our receipt/order number and go and stand with the few other smart people like us who had beat the Tia Rosa dinner rush. So I sat down and got my people watching on. People were piling in, some see friends and flip out, others are trying to control crazy kids/spouses, while others at the back of the line look at us and our receipts with jealous eyes and wish they had been as smart and as fast as us.

So they guy behind the counter calls a number and I watch as a person we saw ahead of us in line goes and claims their food and then walks out. Another number is called and another tray of tasty Mexican food is carried to a table. Its exciting knowing that your number is about to be called...especially when there is a huge line behind you. You could tell in the restaurant that the stress was building behind the counter with all the new orders. It was getting louder in there and definitely more cramped. Another number was called and the guy that was in front of us picks up the food...and that meant we were next. But, despite how quick and smart and fast we were, the next number called wasn't ours! I look over at Jackie (mom-in law) and she is looking at her receipt and shrugs her shoulders. So we wait. The guy yells another number, and this time the people who were behind us pick up their food.

Now, its not a big deal when the people behind you get their order first. After all, maybe they only got a quesadilla, or a single taco, or like a bag of chips or somethin. But when the people who were two groups behind you get their food before you, that's a problem. There was a problem. But, we decide to patiently wait because this food is worth waiting for. Then the guy behind the counter yells, "Order number 10!" I look at Jackie...she shakes her head. But nobody picks up this bag of food. "Probably in the bathroom," I think. Morgan (sis-in-law) is now getting a little fed up because she has places to go, people to see, Facebook to look at. "Number 10!" This time its yelled over the loud speaker. Nobody picks it up so they must be outside. I mean, its February in Mesa, but its like 80 degrees, so why not wait outside and escape the Tia Rosa madness during the dinner rush.

Morgan then gets up and asks her mom how much longer this is going to take. "Morgan I don't know. Just relax. Where do you have to go anyway?!" "I've got stuff I wanna do!" she responds. This people watching is getting good, plus I have no responsibility here so I'm blameless to the situation...always a good card to have. As a rule, the more drama/tension there is, the better the people watching. Except for extremely happy moments...those are pretty good to watch too. They call another number and another person that was behind us picks up their tacos. At the same time, someone walks out from behind the counter and weaves through the crowd of hungry, impatient people and opens the door to the outside and yells, "Number 10!" No response. Then the girl walks back to the counter, where Morgan and Jackie are now standing and she basically yells in their face, "Number 10?! Number 10?!" I obviously have to speak up in this situation, so I do. "Bueller?! ... Bueller?!" The guy next to me laughs. "I love the movie," he says. By now the crowd of people waiting were murmuring about their new enemy, order #10. How could they not pick up their food? Reckless behavior.

Morgan finally looks at her mom..."Are you sure we aren't number 10?!" "Morgan!" she snaps back, "Are you serious?! Do you think I'd just stand here forever if we were number 10?" I look from my seat at the receipt Jackie is holding and I could barely see it from where I was at. But I could see that the number was not 10. Then an idea flashes across Jackie's mind. I knew one did cause I'm an expert people watcher and I can tell when people get ideas...and trust me, most ideas I see people get are pretty dumb ones. But not this one...Jackie got a devious idea. Order #10 was a pretty hefty looking bag. "What if we just took it?" she says to Morgan. "It looks like alot of food in there." This is getting good. So Morgan, who was already annoyed at the whole situation looks at her mom and gives her the "are you kidding" look. "What?!? Why not?!?" Jackie bursts out while laughing. "Um, I don't know Mom, maybe cause its stealing!" "No its not," Jackie replies. "Whoever ordered it obviously got fed up with the wait and left. We paid for food and they obviously forgot our order. Its totally ok."

Pretty good logic if you ask me. However, its one of those crap-shoot moments. You are obviously not going to get the food you ordered, but you'll probably get something tasty, especially since Tia Rosas is generally pretty good all-around. One the one hand, if you steal order #10, maybe they ordered a few salmon tacos. Pretty D tasty. On the other hand, if the bag was just full of chips and a quesadilla, your family is probably going to go hungry and you'll lose their respect. Crap-shoot.

Jackie decides that Morgan should steal the bag and that they'd race out before #10 gets back and decides to claim their luke-warm food. Morgan was having no part of that, and since Jackie couldn't actually do it either, there they stood...waiting. By then my mind was totally wandering and I was remembering that movie I just saw, I Am Number 4, and I was hoping some huge menacing guy would stand up and say with a mighty voice, "I, am number 10..." and then walk up, grab the bag, look at the cashier as if to say, "You're lucky I let you live today" and then turn around and walk out as thunder crashed overhead. But that crap wasn't going to happen so I was hoping we'd just steal the bag and leave.

Sure enough, another number was called, and another person that was behind us in line went up and got their food. Finally, Jackie had had enough and looked long and hard at her receipt. "Maybe the 8 was really a 0", she thought. So she walked up to the guy calling out the order numbers and hands him her receipt. "Is this eight supposed to be a zero?" she asks. The guy looks at her with a smile and takes the receipt. I watch him as his smile washes off his face. Without moving a muscle, except for his neck to look back up at her, he responds, "Ma'am, this is a Carl's Jr. receipt." "What?!?" Jackie exclaims. Morgans mouth drops open. I almost fall out of my chair laughing as I watch Jackie frantically shoving her hands in her pockets and finally pulls out a Tia Rosa receipt with a big, fat number 10 on it. "Oh, I guess that's our food...Let's go guys!!!" as she hurriedly snatches the bag and grabs Morg's arm. By now Tia Rosas was FULL of people watchers and we were all having a pretty good time. Number 10 had finally arrived to claim their burritos...and out the door we ran.

Thanksgiving 2010

2010-12-06T17:50:00.000-08:00

We had a great Thanksgiving this year! We were missing out on the blizzards in Utah while down in Arizona, in the 75 degree weather. So amazing. I didn't take pictures of anything but of our family at my grandmas... and most are not very good. Ha ha here are some of the awesome pictures we took, and not one had everyone smiling or eyes open... Oh well!

Ha ha sorry Raeg and Dad...

We got lots of Christmas shopping done the day after Thanksgiving which is always great! We are really trying to enjoy this Christmas season and not worry so much about buying a million presents like last year. The First Presidency Christmas Devotional last night really helped us to remember that.

Ryan and I left AZ on Monday and stopped in Vegas to go to his mom's Christmas choir concert. I didn't know what to expect and was blown away. It was amazing! They sang Handel's Messiah with the most talented soloists and a full orchestra. Ryan's uncle Randy was telling us how he didn't want to go because the concert gave him a headache with all of the "high" singing and he couldn't understand the different language they sang in... Ha ha ha!! It is all in English... Just Isaiah and hard to understand. I about died laughing so so hard and was super disruptive when the soloists started singing, because I could totally see how he thought it might be in another language. Maybe it was so much funnier to me because my dad would have said the same exact thing as him. Anyway, it was great.

I hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving too!! I can't wait for Christmas and all the fun festivities!

Activity Days

2010-12-02T18:14:00.001-08:00

So I am officially in charge of Decembers first activity day for the 9&10 year old girls. I am not really sure what to expect since I have been out of town for the last 3 achievement days and have never been... Ugh, I know, it is horrible. So I have been thinking about what we should make in honor of the Christmas season and I decided on making these Christmas lanterns/candy jars! They are so so cute... I got the idea from Here.

The tricky thing I didn't realize was making sure I had all of the supplies needed for this project for 12 girls. I am a complete crazy person. I go to a store and think,"hmm I have seen this item at a different store for cheaper, so I won't get it now." BAD idea. So I have now been to 100 stores looking at the same 5 things for days... I have even had dreams about this and I am the WORST shopper. This is so ridiculous for an easy project. I made one for myself and it took like 10 minutes... Needless to say, I still have not picked up all of the things I need. Tomorrow I am going to finish this.

If anyone has any other good ideas for this activity let me know!! Treats? Spiritual thought?? I don't know how it works! Let me know what you think!

Happy Birthday Ryan!

2010-10-07T07:52:00.000-07:00

So yesterday was Ryan's 29th birthday and we had a blast. As he says, he is holding onto his 20's by the skin of his teeth ha ha. That is true. He better make this last year of having a 2 in front of his age count!! I feel like time goes by way too fast these days... It makes me sad.

We had so much fun opening presents in the morning, riding up the ski lift at Sundance, making treats, dinner at Tucanos, and cake and ice cream afterwards at our house. Ryan scored with tons of sweet presents. Thanks everyone who came and celebrated with us. It was so fun!

Happy Birthday Ry-Dogg!! You are the best husband in the whole world! Love you!

Summer Time!!

2010-07-24T14:28:00.000-07:00

So we have had such a crazy summer so far, but it has been super fun! We have been back and forth from Arizona to Utah almost every week... driving! This is what we have been up to for the last few months:

1. I graduated from BYU in April!! Lots of family came up to celebrate and hang out with us. We had such a fun weekend with everyone. This picture is only a few of those who came. Thanks everyone for coming to support me! I am so excited to move on and figure out what comes next... More school??

2. I left for about a month to help my mom finish up tons of recital stuff as she finished up her school year teaching crazy kindergarten kids! The recital turned out so so cute and amazing. All of the girls did awesome!

3. Ryan was working hard up in Utah and then came down to AZ to join me and start doing some fun work in AZ as well.

4. Bree and Eric had their cutest baby Ellie at the end of May. It was so much fun to be there for it! She is the most perfect baby!

5. We went to our annual Carlsbad, CA beach trip over the 4th of July with all of my Davis cousins. We all had so much fun! It was a little cold on the beach this year, so we were bundled up in sweatshirts most of the time!

6. Ryan got a new calling as Elders Quorum 2nd Counselor.

7. We went to Ryan's Nelson Family annual cabin trip up near Brianhead! It was a blast!! Ryan especially had fun fishing the whole time at the new lakes his aunt and uncle built. They are amazing!

8. Ryan has been working hard on a house out in Phoenix to list in the next week. I wish I had some pictures to show...

9. Lydia graduated from college at BYU- Idaho, so we made a trip up there to celebrate! Congrats Lydia!!

10. My uncle Tom had is 50th suprise birthday party up here in Utah, that I missed out on, but my grandpa and grandma, aunts, and cousins came up to party. We also had a suprise bridal shower for my cousin Jill who is getting married in a couple weeks! We had so so much fun with everyone. We are so excited for Jill and Brock! I don't have any party pictures yet... so they will come!

Broccoli

2010-03-17T20:44:00.000-07:00

So Laur and I were driving down State Street in Orem havin a good ol' time. We had just gotten a Red Box (Cloudy With a Chance of Meatbulbs) as well as some 4 for $2 candy cause we were gunna watch that movie in style. So we are driving and Laur says...

Laur: "Ryan! Did you just toot?! Eeew. Ryan." (She commences to roll down her passenger window with much haste.)

Me: "What? No. I don't even smell anything," I said, taking a quick draw of air to see what she's talkin about. (It is Orem State street ya know, so there is always weird stuff in the air there. But nope, our windows were up.)

Me: "I didn't even hear a sound, did you?" Thinking that maybe I let one slide without thinking about it, cause that sometimes happens.

Laur: "No, but it really stinks!"

A sudden realization hits me... This is broccoli brand. Lauren had just eaten chips with refried beans, cheese, hot sauce... and some raw broccoli to make the meal healthy.

Me: "Laur! You just burped!... Like a minute ago right?!? Siiiiiiiick. That was not me, and that was not a toot!" (I now roll my window down with great haste and take in some deep draws.)

Lauren is now laughing uncontrollably because she realizes she did in fact burp a deep burp, she did in fact eat raw broccoli earlier, and that the smell was indeed the broccoli brand.

Now I'm laughin. Cause that's funny. And sick. But more funny...cause for once it wasn't me and it was bad enough that Laur just thought I ripped a wallpaper peeler.

Oh man. This is what marriage is about. I love it. Good times for sure.

Two Things

2010-03-09T17:32:00.000-08:00

So as most of you know, if you are ever with me, the two things that I have been complaining about the whole semester... my internship and online class. The last and final two things in my way before I graduate from BYU in April.

I really have had it pretty easy this semester; going to my internship and working on my online class. Everyone, especially my sister, dies about how much I complain about my only two things. But you must know why I dislike these two things SO much.

1. I guess I can see that the end is in sight and I must have SEVER senioritis

2. My internship is in all the way in Salt Lake. I drive there during rush hour at 7 and drive home at rush hour at 5. Yuck. (12 hour days)

3. I am in the Epidemiology Bureau, Department of Communicable Diseases and Prevention Program at the Utah Department of Health (UDOH) for my internship.

4. #3 is significant because in this bureau I work with HIV/AIDS, STDs, Hepatitis C, and sometimes TB stuff. Yeah, most of you would think that sounds really cool, which some of it really is, but I just do not want to work with this stuff longer than my internship. I have to go counsel and test usually gay men, prostitutes, drug users, or anyone else at risk, for HIV. Not that any of these people are bad at all, I have made some great friends there, and it is actually fun, but just totally out of my element. In this counseling session we talk about all the super fun things in life about how to prevent getting HIV. If you know anything about how these diseases are spread then you may know just a slight amount of what we talk about with these people. We have to be extremely graphic and straight forward. If you would like to know more about these graphic things that we talk to them about, email me. So if you know me at all... this whole thing is just kinda completely out of my element. It is gross, scary, and makes me totally nervous. Not to mention I had to get trained to give positive results to someone who tests positive for HIV. Um no thanks. I would rather not give these life changing results, find all of their partners, etc. when I dont even like talking about the prevention. HIV prevention really is a GREAT thing. You should get tested:)

4. Half the time at the health dept. I sit there super bored acting like I am doing lots of stuff for 10 hours (luckily I can work on my dreaded online class)

5. I am working on calling every substance abuse center in the whole state for a survey we are doing for Hep C. There are hundreds

6. My online class (English 316) has to be done by April 2. Final taken and everything. I started it January 11. Stupidest thing I have ever done. NEVER take online classes.

7. I have to get all the assignments for my online class done before I can request the final. Which takes 2 weeks until you can take it. So this means by next week, everything has to be completed and turned in.

8. I hate this online class a million times more than my internship. It is the only online class I have ever taken in my life.

9. Internship notebook, final papers, projects all have to be turned in April 13! Didn't know this until the middle of the semester so recently I have been going to salt lake to sit there for 30 hours a week to get it done.

10. Due to the fact that I have weird deadlines for both things, I look at the calender EVERY DAY, probably 20 times a day. I calculate my hours I need done for each day, everyday. Like it changes?

11. Finally, my semester isn't really that bad... I just am so close, about 3 1/2 weeks. Then we can play, go to AZ all we want, and go on fun vacations. Hooray for spring time!! Our tulips are coming up everywhere!! I love them.

12. I can't wait for everyone to come up to Utah for graduation in April!!! Only a few more weeks! Yay!

On a happy note. I had an amazing birthday!! Thank you everyone for all of your nicest happy birthday's and fun presents. I loved them all. It was seriously like christmas. So many presents and they still keep coming. Our car is also finally back and fixed and I love it so much. Don't ask how much it cost... And Ryan rocks.

Love Lauren

The Last 6 Months

2010-01-08T07:19:00.001-08:00

So I guess we like to wait 6 months between each post now... Here are just some pictures and stuff of what has been going on in our lives since the summer. It is a really really long post, so beware!

Ryan did lots of golfing and fishing with his dad...

This one is golfing with his mission president and his son

We finally got to fixing up the outside of our house... Mostly that was Ryan too :)

Ryan's 28th birthday

We won the "Good Neighbor Award"

My family visited over their October break

We went to the Thanksgiving Point corn maze and festival and carved pumpkins

Lacie, Jenny, and I threw Raeg a little bridal shower up here with all the friends still in Utah...

Thanksgiving time we went down to AZ for the first part of the week to get ready for Raegan's wedding. We then drove up to Vegas to be with Ryan's family for Thanksgiving and drove back to AZ the next day for the wedding dinner and to finish reception stuff. It was a crazy break!

Finished my last semester of finals!!! Yay!! We went to the Tabernacle Choir Christmas Program at the conference center. It was so amazing!

Christmas time we went down to AZ! We saw some movies, ate tons of food, hung out with friends and family, rode the light rail, got tons of fun presents, even the cutest baby puppy in the whole world, and tons of other fun things. All in the 75 degree weather! So nice!

New Years we went to dinner with Eric, Bree, Kjersten, and Kevin, then we went and saw Sherlock Holmes, then watched the fireworks by Tempe town lake.

The Theater of Life: Act I, Scene II

2009-08-14T23:49:00.000-07:00

1:15 a.m.; All is quiet as Lauren and Ryan are sleeping soundly as a light breeze blows in the warm summer night. Ryan slowly drifts out of sleep, though his conscious is still trapped between what is real, and what is imagined...

Ryan: (Thinking to himself) "Whoever is tickling my arm...don't stop. I love tickles, especially when I'm this tired. It's weird that someone can tickle my arm when its hanging down between the bed and the wall. Especially since Lauren is on the other side of me. I don't care, it feels nice..."

As Ryan enjoys the relaxing touches on his arm, he begins to become more self-aware and leaves his dreamy state...

Ryan: (Still in thought) "Wait a minute...how is Lauren tickling my arm when she's on the other side of me and my arm is trapped down the side of the bed? Whats going...who... WAIT! What the heck is on my arm?!?"

In a single frantic motion, Ryan pulls his hand out between the wall and the bed, flailing it back and forth, smacking it on the bed. These actions, along with Ryan sliding his body toward the foot of the bed while dragging the sheets with him so as to get a look at what might have been on his arm, awake his wife Lauren.

Lauren: (In a confused panic) "What the heck are you doing?!"

Ryan: "Hurry! Flip on the lights!"

Lauren: "Wha...what's going on?!"

Ryan: "Just flip 'em on! Something was crawling on my arm!"

Sleep has now fled from the couples eyes, although new adrenaline is flowing in their bodies, especially in Lauren who is now jumping out of bed still not sure what is happening. Lights on. Ryan quickly searches the blanket and sheets, although nothing is seen nor heard. Lauren looks on in dazed anticipation hoping he finds nothing; as a find of any sort in her bed will undoubtedly mean no sleep for her for the remainder of the night, and a morning full of washing sheets... sheets which were freshly laundered earlier that day.

Ryan: "I swear there was something on me." (Ryan lets out a relieving sigh.)

Lauren: "You're such a spaz! I swear. You always do things like this. I bet it was just my hair tickling you. You always think my hair on you is like a spider or something... Can I turn the light off now?"

Ryan: "Yeah... Sorry dude."

Lauren: "Its ok Ry-dogg."

Lauren turns off the light and slowly crawls back into bed under the sheets she now assuredly feels are clean and safe. She cuddles next to Ryan and gently kisses his cheek and quickly drifts off to sleep. Ryan is now laying on his back with his arms folded, on Lauren's side of the bed, feet away from the wall. Although he is not scared in the least bit, he almost feels violated that some thing crawled on him... and got away with it. Ryan is still thinking...

Ryan: (To himself) "Maybe she's right. I don't think she is, but maybe. Whatever...who cares."

Ryan begins to lose track of his thoughts and sombers off.

3:25 a.m.-ish; Ryan is laying on his back much in the same manner as when he fell asleep after the commotion which happened hours earlier. He feels a slight scamper on the right side of his neck which brings him directly to reality. In one sweeping, magnificently smooth yet ferociously fast motion, he pulls his arm up along side his body, his hand grabs his neck under his right ear... He continues the motion and throws his hand forward as he leans up in the bed. He opens his hand at the apex of the arm's rotation. Silence prevails for a slight second, and then a thud is heard on the armoire cabinet door across the room, directly in front of the foot of the couple's bed.

Ryan: "Laur! Turn on the light!"

Lauren frantically sifts through the sheets toward an opening and scampers to the light switch. Lights on.

Lauren: (Out of breath...) "Are you serious?!"

Ryan: "Heck ya I am! I heard a freakin thud!"

Lauren: "For real?!"

The couple both lean from where they are, peering toward the foot of the bed to get a better look. Ryan crawls toward the foot and points a finger at the base of the armoire. A stunned roach of no less than 2 inches lies on its back, not moving.

Lauren: "Are you serious?! ARE YOU SERIOUS?!"

Ryan: "I knew it! I knew I heard a thud! I knew something was on me! (He lets out a chuckle...) I got that sucker. Look at it...its totally just laying there not moving. I threw that fetcher hard. It was like one swift throwing movement...while I was half-asleep! Awesome."

Lauren: "Well make sure its dead! Eeeewwwww!!!" (Let out with a shivering inflection in her voice)

Ryan crawls over the foot of the bed and smashes it with the bottom of the nearby clothes hamper. Ryan pushes hard so as to here the debilitating crunch noise he is looking for. He finds it. He crawls back into bed, smiling, and satisfied. Lauren, still completely grossed out turns off the light and crawls into bed feeling assured that her husband killed the only intruder in their cumfy cosy cave of a room. She now snuggles extra close to her man-of-a-husband so as to feel extra safe. A light breeze is heard outside the window in the serene timid night air. The two drift off asleep, and are left to themselves and their dreams, finally alone in their room.

END SCENE

One Whole Year!

2009-08-10T12:46:00.000-07:00

Ok, even though I have to replace one of Ryan's awesome blog posts, I must report that yesterday, the 9th, was our 1 year anniversary!! I cannot believe just how fast this year has gone by. It is crazy to me that everyone claims that the first year of marriage is the hardest because ours was so great! I guess our lives are totally smooth sailing from now on:)

Being married is definitely a new experience, but it has been one of the best years of my life. It is crazy just how much you can grow to love someone and become closer every single day just a little bit more. Ryan is so amazing and I could not have been blessed with anyone more perfect for me. He is truely my best friend and it has been such a fun year.

So Ryan, being the funnster that he is, planned a fun trip for our anniversary weekend. On Friday night, we first had planned on eating at this great little pizza place in Phoenix, but when we got there at 5:40 (it opened at 5) there was already a 3.5 hour wait! Yeah, really. So we waited for about an hour and a half and they told us we had 2 hours left. Seriously. That is how small and yummy this place is... We finally decided to just leave and go somewhere else... Lame!

Here is a pic of the outside:

So we ended up at Oregano's, which was closer to our Hotel anyways. Ryan started getting a little fired up after we had waited about 45 minutes there too... It was the night of waiting I guess. Ha ha we were both so starving and it was getting pretty late. We finally ate a huge yummy dinner and desert and headed backto our fun hotel and watched movies.

We stayed at the Hyatt Regency at Gainey Ranch. It was so beautiful! It totally felt like we were gone on vacation somewhere else.

The next morning Ryan and I met my dad at a breakfast restaurant called Over Easy. We first saw it on The Food Network on Diners, Drive-ins, and Dives. It looked so good so we decided to try it out. The food was seriously so delicious! The prices were also really good which makes it even better! We will definitely be going back. I think Ryan won with the yummiest choice of food (French toast with caramelized bananas, pecans, and real maple syrup)!

We then headed back to our hotel to swim and lay out for a few hours. It felt so great outside (maybe 105) so it wasn't totally miserable laying out. There were lots of fun pools and we met some friends there so it was fun.

After getting totally fried in the sun, we came back to the house and got ready to go to the movies. We went and saw 500 Days of Summer. It was pretty good I guess... There have not really been many movies out lately that I have been that excited to see. This adventure ended our mini anniversary vacation. We both had so much fun and it was great for it to just be the two of us! Thanks Ry dogg for such a fun weekend! I love you.

I just have to conclude with the card that ryan gave me on Sunday, our real anniversary day... He is such a dork, but anyone who knows him knows that this totally is him! I loved it.

Then the inside says "Love means never having to say, 'Excuse Me.'" Happy Anniversary! Ha ha of course! He did write a very nice letter to go with, but the card kills me because everyone knows I am totally not a fan of this stuff... (like the story he wrote about a few posts ago). Anyway, these are just some highlights from our great weekend!

"Booking"

2009-07-19T18:21:00.000-07:00

My wife is a great booker. Thats a noun. " '\bu-ker\' ; n. Someone who engages in prolonged periods of reading the lives and stories of others either through the printed page or the internet portal known as Facebook." A great booker I tell you. I honestly wish that I could match her in this gift of hers but for some reason I just can't get motivated to do it. Its my only personal flaw that I'm aware of...although others say they've found a few. Like I was told the other day not to pick my nose in public...but its so dang dry in the AZ and it feels so good to get one of those itchy dudes out. But this blog is not about my picking...thats for the most part under control. Although there will be some other "picking" to come...

So like I said, Lauren is into books and Facebook. And I envy that. And I'm pretty sure everyone else besides my parents and I have a Facebook thing too. But at least my parents read books. Its so hard for me to get into a good book. And even more, the overwhelming task of getting a Facebook account and the amount of time I'll have to devote to the initial addiction which is sure to come (the "I have 4 new friends! Who are these new friends...click, click" etc. etc.) and maintenance of the site is daunting. Hauntily daunting. Like scary almost. Plus I dont know about everyone on the planet poking me and bein all up in my bidnass, ya know?!

But Lauren, she's a master. She can read a couple books a week and tell me all about them and be all excited to read them til the end. She just cuddles up with her blankie that she's had since she was 6 months old and intensely reads away. And in-between chapter breaks she can seemlessly Login to The Facebook and see everyone's life and pics and drama and live it up there too with lots of, "Are you serious's" and "She's engaged?!'s" a ton of "eww!!!'s" and some "Look at this!!'s"...to name a few.

I wish I was a booker is what I'm sayin. I read scriptures and I love the FoxNews and ESPN apps on my phone and I'll read those everyday...but apps are not books so the only book in those readings is the sciptures, which I must say to my credit is a pretty good book to read. I just lack that motivation to get down and dirty and "book" like so many of you guys that read these blogs do. Even my cousin who swore off Facebook as a foolish time-waster just signed up I heard...I wouldn't have known he did of course other that Lauren is now his "friend". As if they already weren't family. Gosh. Brock.

Anyhoo this is booking in action:

Notice the Booker's joy in her booking. And also how she picks her feet. There's the "picking" I said you'd see later. A subconscious thing she has I think. Just weird to me that someone so beautiful does that. Foot dust all up on that couch now.

In this next image the Booker has obviously come to a plot twist which she of course had already known would happen because of her intense skills in deducing these sort of things.

Here the Booker is trying to picture the hero as a muscle clad version of her husband. She doesn't have to try very hard. She knows how Pepsi tightens up his abs.

And finally, booking can be a "no joke" serious venture. Like they get mad for some reason when you steal their book and try to wrestle.

So, after all is said and done, I've decided to be like my wife and take up booking so I stop missing out. And since we just saw that new Harry Potter movie, and since I've seen em all and read none of the books, I've decided to read the final series-ending one. So I'll start tomorrow most likely. Except Facebook maybe another day... and Lauren just showed me the Harry Potter book... looks pretty thick.

Spousal Air Karate

2009-06-27T14:42:00.000-07:00

Sometimes you have to do this. And sometimes, you are even more awesome than you think. And sometimes, spousal air karate is always appropriate. And sometimes, my grammar and word usage is fantastic. Here it is...

And also, you know you are a manly man when you put on a pink lucha libre mask and wrestle a black devil dog. After the fight we shared a Dos Equis "XX" in the shade. Stay thirsty my friends.

Four Months!

2009-05-30T08:05:00.000-07:00

Ok everyone... I know it has been almost four months since our last blog. We are total slackers. You all know that if you don't blog frequently, after a little while the events keep building up, and then the whole task seems so daunting. That is us. There has just been so so much going on since February that neither one of us have wanted to attempt it. I am going to make a list of the things that have been happening so it is easier. Pictures will be added later :)

1. Ryan was working down in Arizona pretty much every other week for the whole Winter semester so I was home alone a lot and just busy with school stuff. He is such a hard worker and I am so grateful for him! I was lucky to have Raegan be able to come stay with me sometimes or keep me company.

2. My birthday was March 3 and I had the best day! Ryan had my birthday presents ready for me in the morning. Ha ha I like the "Happy Birthday" banner up in the morning so I know Ryan was putting it up at 3:30 in the morning when he said he was "getting a drink." The two tasks do not sound the same:) He made me the cutest book of things that I got for my birthday. I got jeans, treats, and a trip to Vegas to stay in the Venetian. Ryan is from Vegas and had never stayed in a hotel on the strip!! We all went to dinner that night at some place in Salt Lake and when we got home there was a surprise party for me! Ha ha I seriously was so surprised. I did not even know. There was lots of people there and I got tons of fun presents for my 21st birthday! I couldn't believe Ryan could pull everything off without me knowing! He is the best!!

3. The next week we went to Las Vegas for Ryan's friends wedding and to use our stay at the Venetian. We drove down with Ryan's friends and stayed our first night there at his cousin's house. Thanks Brock and Veronica for always letting us crash there! The next day we ran errands and hung out on the strip. I was starting to feel sick for some reason that day so Ryan had this great idea to have me drink an energy drink. First of all I don't even drink pop or caffeine, Second I especially do not drink energy drinks. So he chooses out one called a shooter... on the back it says "Warning. Only drink half to determine your tolerance." Ha or something like that. So of course I just down the whole can in five minutes. Let me just tell you I have never, ever been so wired in my life!!! I could not stop shaking and could NOT sit down. It was seriously crazy. I am NEVER drinking one of those again!! Ha so we went to eat that night at the funnest restaurant in the Paris called Mon Ami Gabi. It was so amazing and I loved it so much that the executive chef sent me the recipe for the dinner that I got. I highly recommend it! On our way back from dinner we played a little Wheel of Fortune, which I was insisting that we were not going to do, and won all of our money back :) With the extra we went shopping and bought some fun things. The next day was his friend's wedding. We raced from the Venetian to the temple just in time for it to start. We hung out with Ryan's friends all day and went to the movies to wait for the reception to start. It was a great weekend! Even though I was feeling pretty miserable and sick most of the time, I loved it. Ryan left straight to AZ from there and I came back up to Utah with my mother in law and Kjersten.
4. My family came to stay with us over their spring break! It was so much fun having them stay at my house. We did lots of fun things like Jump On It, movies, lots of eating, shopping and more. My grandma Davis helped me make a cute wreath for my birthday present. I love it. It was a great week!
5. We came down to Arizona for conference. We had so much fun! Honestly though, I think Ryan made me come because he felt bad leaving me so much. Ha ha it was fine though because I love being here with my family, even though school stuff was extra overwhelming at the time. It was a great break.

6. Raegan's Birthday was on April 6th! On her birthday we both had school stuff all day but in the evening everyone came over for birthday treats and presents. It ended up being so much fun with everyone there!7. Easter and Wicked! We had a great Easter Sunday with stake conference and lots of candy and presents in our Easter baskets. Later that evening we went to see the Broadway musical Wicked at the Capitol Theater in Salt Lake. It was the most amazing show I have ever seen. We had front row tickets due to the fact that Ryan and Brady waited in line at 4:00AM in December freezing cold all night long :) Love them. We could see all of the amazing costumes, dances, props, and singing right up close. It was so so fun!

8. Brittany had her bachelorette party on the 18th! We all had so much fun. We went to Texas Roadhouse for dinner then went back to Brit's apartment for games and treats. Ha ha all the the gifts were so fun and we all had a great time.

9. Finals week was over on the 23!! Yay!

10. Ryan decided that we needed to build a patio in our back yard. Around our house, if you didn't already know, we do everything ourselves. This was a HUGE project ha ha. So we went down and ordered tons of sand and sandstone to be delivered to our house. First we had to get a machine to get up all of the grass where the patio was going to be, second we layed sand down and made the yard level, third you start laying the stones in like a mosaic puzzle!! Each one has to be wiggled down and level. Oh my gosh, what a task. Ha ha thanks everyone in Ryan's fam who came to help us everyday. It was definitely not a very fun job. After the stones were all layed we filled in the cracks with a cement and sand mixture. Finally Ryan built a gas fire place in the middle of the patio. That is the sweetest part. I am so so excited to use it in the fall when we are back up at our house. The patio looks so so great. I am so happy to have a husband that is such a perfectionist and can do everything so great.

11. We had a week where Brittany and Raeg stayed at our house because they both had to be moved out of their apartments. It was so fun having friends there all the time with us!

12. Lydia's 22nd Birthday! Ryan, Kevin, and Ryan's dad had already gone to AZ at this time, but we all went out to dinner to this fancy Italian restaurant in Salt Lake. I branched out and actually tried something new. I got some risotto meal with gutta cheese. It was really good, but I am not sure I have eaten enough fancy things to love it. It was such a fun restaurant and I loved the atmosphere so much! We will definitely have to go back. Ryan's mom also made Lydia the cutest cake ever the night before Ryan left. It was delicious!! I am sad I don't have a pic because it looked fake it was so cute.

13. We packed up all of the stuff that we needed to move down to AZ for most of the summer.

14. Brittany had her bridal shower here in Mesa with everyone. Brit and I came straight from the airport to the house she was having it at. It was the cutest party. Everything was decorated so cute and fun. It was great to be with all of our cousins, family, and friends again!

15. Lots of wedding prep. We made our "wedding committee" to help out with getting stuff ready for Brittany's wedding. I had so much fun helping make things and run around getting stuff for it. I loved being there to go with her for her first time through the temple and then the wedding dinner two days later!

16. The wedding. The wedding was so so beautiful!! I am so happy for Brittany and Brady! They are the cutest couple and our best friends! We had such a fun time dancing, eating, and hanging out with everyone!
17. Lots of dance recital props to make with my mom... ugh. My mom is the busiest woman I know during the month of May. I was so happy to be here to help her out with her end of the year school stuff, dance recital stuff, and girls camp things. Hopefully now that it is summer time things will be a little less crazy!!
18. The annual Show Low softball tournaments. I love, love going up to watch the softball games. I have been going since I was born. The weather was so nice and it is so fun to hang out with everyone up there. It was Ryan's first time going up there and I think he is hooked.

19. I have had a job. Ha ha. It was a two week job working for my aunt Charlotte doing the Shade Clothing roadshow in Costco. It is an easy job, but kinda extra boring. Oh well! I had nothing else really to do so it was a great little job!

Sorry for the EXTRA long post, but it has been four months so I just wanted to update everyone on what has been going on in our lives.

Knock Knocking the Arizona Cardinals' Coaching Staff

2009-02-02T20:04:00.000-08:00

This is for the Arizona Cardinals' coaching staff in the first three quarters of the Super Bowl...

"Knock Knock..."

"Who's there?"

"Larry Fitzgerald..."

"Larry Fitzgerald who?"

"Exactly."

Retards.

Luckily you guys realized he was on your team in the 4th quarter where he scored two, count'em two, touchdowns and helped the Cards save face. Go Cards! Boo coaches.

TAG and a Long week

2009-01-25T06:39:00.000-08:00

So I am writing something for the first time in a long time… Ryan has been pretty good about updating and he writes much funnier things than me so I think it is better that he does anyway. I just want to tell you that this has been one of the longest weeks EVER!! Ryan, Eric, and Paul left last Sunday to Arizona for some auctions and don’t come back until tomorrow! K that is a full 8 days… ha ha I know I am a baby, but I really really hate being here all alone! I have tried to keep busy, but it just feels like an eternity when I get home and am here by myself. Luckily Sue called me to go down to Vegas with her on Thursday so that was something fun to get me out of here. The weather was amazing and I wish we could have stayed longer! We went to Uncle Eric’s birthday party which was so fun , did a little shopping, and ate lots!! But here I am back alone again (in Utah!) on Sunday… lame. Plus I look outside and SNOW is covering everything again!! Ahh. I am the worst driver in snow!! I cannot wait until tomorrow when Ryan gets back!! Ha ha I feel like this is a big complaining blog, I am sorry! K now onto the TAG from Kjersten!

TAG
1. What time did you get up this morning? 7:00
2. Have you brushed your hair yet today? Not yet
3. What is the name of the last song you listened to? I seriously don’t know
4. Do you like to text? Yep!
5. Facebook or My Space? Facebook for sure
6. Where is your favorite place to go? Carlsbad over 4th of July and up to the mountains
7. Do you have a passport? Yes
8. Are you in love? Of course!
9. Have you ever had a broken heart? Um… I think so, but it was fine
10. When was the last time you "laughed your head off"? Two days ago
11. When was the last time you cried? Last night
12. What is the best gift you have ever gotten? My husband
13. What was the best day of your life? My wedding day!
14. What was the worst day of your life? Probably somewhere during my junior year of high school
15. Pepsi or Coke? Neither, but I would take coke
16. Are you wearing socks? Yep, big, fluffy warm ones
17. Did you like high school? I guess so
18. Where is the last place you went out to eat? The Original Pancake House in Vegas
19. What is your biggest accomplishment in the past year? Getting married and closer to graduating
20. What is one random fact about you? I could eat cereal, of any kind, for every single meal of the day most days of the week. I LOVE it

I tag Brittany and Morgan

The Theater of Life: Act I, Scene I

2009-01-05T08:31:00.000-08:00

(Lauren and Ryan lying in bed trying to fall asleep. Ryan keeps turning to and fro unable to sleep.)

Ryan: I can't flippin sleep.

Lauren: I know. I can tell.

Ryan: My stomach hurts like none other.

Lauren: Me too. Mine's been hurting all night.

Ryan: Ah man. I hope its just gas.

Lauren: It better not be.

Ryan: I hope it is.

Lauren: Then you better as heck turn your body away from me! And, you better stick your bum out of the covers so your nasty toot isn't trapped under the blanket! I'm serious.

(Laughter ensues. Ryan continues to laugh as Lauren reaffirms that she is not joking. Ryan tries to push one out just cause it'd be exceedingly funny at that moment. But, there is nothing to push out and he doesn't want to push to hard because he learned a long time ago that that is not a good idea.)

Lauren: Wait, did you really just turn away from me and stick your bum out of the covers?!

Ryan: Yes.

(Lauren now laughes uncontrollably. Ryan's stomach still hurts. Laughter dies down and a minute of silence prevails.)

Ryan: I guess I don't need to toot after all.

(Lauren begins laughing again and Ryan covers his body with the blankets and slides back next to Lauren.)

Ryan: Wait, did I just say toot instead of fart?

Lauren: Yes you did.

Ryan: I can't believe I'm saying words like that now. Its rediculous. Toot? Its a fart.

Lauren: No, its a toot.

(Minutes pass. Lauren drifts off to sleep. Ryan slowly gets comfortable, too comfortable, and not wanting to wake up his cute sleeping wife, gently and quietly rips one, next to Lauren, under the covers.)

END SCENE.

Christmas Doin's and Go-in's

2008-12-19T18:38:00.000-08:00

Hey everybody!...to all who we know and to all you guys that show up on our map thing on the bottom of our page that we don't know. Its all good, Lauren is all about blog-stalking, so just as long as you are the kind of stalkers that leave money under pillows and leave presents under trees, than go ahead and peer inside our windows from our lawn. So here goes...

This Christmas season has been a blast so far. Lets see... We scalped tickets to the First Presidency Christmas Devotional, we saw the Temple Square lights, and no more that 12 minutes ago did we pull the E-brake in our car to do a 180 ice-slide in our neighborhood intersection on our newly fallen Christmas season snow. That last one was to spite the old lady who lives on the corner of our street that flips me off weekly for not stopping completely at the stop sign... in the intersection that sees 7 cars an hour. I do slow down and look both ways... the old lady must think I'm #1 is all.

So we went to the First Presidency Devotional and it was great as always. We didn't have tickets so my buddy Brady and I stood out front and yelled, "We need tickets for our wives!" and in seriously 4 seconds I was handed 2 tickets. Then we realized we lied and those two tickets were for us, and we needed two more for our dates, so we yelled again and this guy came up and gave us 14 more tickets! 16 tickets in 30 seconds! Not bad. So I yelled, "I've got 12 tickets!", obviously meaning to give away. Instead of thankful people I heard, "You can't be serious", and "How do you sleep at night"... to which I responded, "Mostly on my side and on my face". You see, I can't fall asleep on my back, weird huh, I always try...but nope. Then I yelled that the tickets were free and to quit bein weird, so we just gave the tickets to an Usher (not thee performing artist Usher, that'd be crazy though if he were there don't ya think?! I mean, what if he was investigating the Church and went to see the Prophet speak?! Awesome.), and we walked in.

It was the perfect meeting to help us feel the Christmas Spirit and President Monson and his counselors were amazing. Then, as we were leaving our killer seats at the bottom of the Conference Center, guess who is standing in front of us... Glenn Beck. I bet you guessed him, but I thought I'd say anyway. So I reached out my hand and said, "Hi Brother Beck!" and we chatted for a sec. Nice guy and great radio show...#3 in the U.S.!

K, so this post would be forever long if I tried to describe everything so maybe I'll just try pictures and a brief commentary...

- Here Lauren and I had floor seats with other friends at the "Delta Center" when BYU beat Utah State. As you can see in the picture, we lost our voices from screaming at the other fans and players. Tons of fun. And I'm positive that I've heard that if you swear at sporting events it doesn't count. I hope thats true.

- Here are the Temple Square lights...always classic. And freezing. And if you think these lights are impressive, look at this next picture!!!

I know right?!?! Can you say saaaawweeeet!!! Well you kinda have to be right in front of it, like right across the street from it, like live across the street from it and drive past it many times a day, and hear the scary Santa talk and wave as you or anything that moves goes by...to really get the granduer of this display of Christmas Joy. Yep, the North Pole inflates every year. But this next house....wow...

This house is seriously amazing. These pictures maybe get about half the trees they have lit. Seriously amassing. Laur and I were just driving around looking for lights to look at and I saw the tips of a few trees and so we turn the corner...and sha-blam. 5 acres of lights. Sorry Temple Square, you got beat. And I doubt these guys used free missionary labor to put up the lights...I'm guessing an army of otra personas if you know what I'm sayin...cause these were done so dang good that I doubt any missionary could do that. Anywho, go to 400 East and about 1350 North in Orem to see these suckers. They turn off around 10:30 though.

We built this. Now what ya'll... Thats right.

And finally........................

Lauren trying to catch The Christmas Spider! Its a tradition we have. Every family should have Christmas traditions. The End!

5 Things I Never Thought I'd Say

2008-11-20T11:53:00.000-08:00

1. "I agree with Barack Obama."

Ok now wait... before any dis-owning, bitter faces (like the kind when you smell a raunchy fart), or verbal abuses toward me...don't hate, just listen. Believe me, I was more shocked than anyone the two seconds after I heard those words escape my lips. But here is the deal, its not that bad for this single, solitary case... he was talking about the College Football post-season and how the BCS doesn't work and that there needs to be at least an 8-team playoff to determine the champion. I was so shocked that this dude actually spoke the truth that I made that outburst I never thought I'd say. He was right, and we do need a playoff in College Football...cause its the sport with the best regular season and the absolute worst post-season. That's the only "Change" I'll support. I'm not spreadin the little wealth I've got and I'm keepin my guns. And I put my hand over my heart during the national anthem. I can't believe America elected this guy.

2. "I think I want some curtains for Christmas."

There was silence and a blank stare for a good 5 seconds after I said that sentence. The pure and absolute gayness of that sentence knocked me into a mini-coma where I was trying to determine if I really in-actuality said that curtains were a desire I had. But ya, I snapped out of it and its true, we need some. So gay or not it would add alot to the house. Plus I've got a hot wife so I'm not worried about gay stuff I might say... I might even start watching Bravo, or wear a turtle-neck. Or not. While on that subject we move to #3...

3. "California voters got it right."

Amazing. Freakin amazing. Its good to see there is still some rational people in that state that believe in good ol' man and wife families. I thought Cali was gunna burn if they voted "no", but I guess it did anyway which really is very sad, really. But at least they did the right thing for once and voted for something that celebrities didn't like. Now lets just see if the judges they voted for will uphold what the people wanted.

4. "My Mom and Dad are the biggest losers I know."

Haaaa. So anyone who knows that the Nelson Family is doing "The Biggest Loser" competition for the holidays knows that the before-mentioned comment is an enormous compliment. Plus its just kinda fun to say that comment in front of them and not get smacked, but rather have my parents feel great love for their thoughtful and kind son. And handsome. And smart. But ya, you guys are the best! My mom has lost over 30 pounds and my dad over 40! Thats pretty kick-A. Its good to be a loser. Especially the biggest one. (Thats a pre-loser picture above by the way.) They look so good! Keep it up!

5. "I love my Bidet!"

OK all you haters, before you make fun let me say...I don't care what you think, bidets are awesome. And if you don't know what the heck I'm even talkin about, its pronounced "buh-day" and its the device that sprays your butt after you do your business... and its cool, so if you don't have one, sorry, you're not that cool. But in case you wanna be cool, look up Biffy Bidets on-line and hook one up. They are cheap and a blast! pun pun pun. But really, lets say by some weird happenstance you get some poo on your arm...just imagine it. Now do you wipe it off with some toilet paper and call it good?! I hope not. So think about how much cleaner you'd feel with one of these bad boys. I love the Biffy, and Lauren is even converted...now thats proof it will change even the firmest minds to the contrary. Rest my case.

Alright... About that Honeymoon...

2008-11-02T14:15:00.000-08:00

So the deal was Lauren would blog about the wedding and I'd blog about the honeymoon... and I figure 3 months late is better than never. It's crazy to think we've been married about 3 months already (and I know all you old married farts are rolling your eyes, but you know you were the same) and its been a blast everyday. The honeymoon we took to Cancun was definitely the way to start things out!

The long awaited Royal Palms

So the night of the wedding we stayed at this sweet resort in Scottsdale called The Royal Palms and its too bad we couldn't spend more time there cause it was amazing. You have an individual villa complete with courtyard and everything. It was sad we only spent a whole 8 hours there...They made a killing off us haaa, but all worth it considering it was for our wedding.

From there we took off from Phoenix to Cancun! The flight wasn't too bad and the only thing that went wrong was when I was playin with my wedding ring and flipped it back a few aisles. I found it. So we get to Meh-he-ko and it was seriously better than we even expected. The people were right there to pick us up and we got to the hotel in no time. We even had this flippin weird couple there that we could talk about...I mean talk to. Seriously the dude looked like Leonardo DiCaprio off of Catch Me If You Can and his girlfriend was a beast. You had to be there to really enjoy the sight of these guys...I'm not even tryin to be mean. It was all entertainment to us!

So our hotel was tight! It was the Sun Palace and it was all-inclusive... so from the moment we got there the eating began...and it never freakin stopped, I kid you not. They had 5 really good restaurants there, a 24-hour buffet, and 24-hour room service...ALL INCLUDED!!! Not to mention the fridge in your room all stocked with Mexican Coke, bottled water and even my favorite... Jose Cuervo, XX and Corona baby! OK so the 'hard stuff' we didn't touch. People couldn't believe we wouldn't drink there, they kept sayin, "You know it’s free right?!?" But so was the Mexican Coke and they kept that comin so we were happy. Lauren even got a little crazy and ordered a Banana Monkey cause she heard someone else order it haha. "Do you think it has alcohol?", she asked me. Um... Any drink that has a name will light you up... so she yelled "Virgin!" and I think the waiter must have thought she was havin a rough honeymoon cause she yelled that so loud around all the other honeymooners around the pool... but he got the drink right so maybe not. But for real, there was never a time when we were 'not full'. Right when we felt like we weren't sick from eating we ate some more... it was the best. And by the way, I'm still down 5 pounds from the wedding, yep. IAFA. I could drop another ten.

Snorkling like champs

The hotel was full of fun stuff to do. The beach had the softest white sand and the water was like a bath, so nice. You could see fish swimming past your feet, which made Lauren a little afraid and asked it they were sharks cause they were pretty big. A couple next to us heard her and the girl booked it to the shore. But no, not sharks, just baraccuda. We even saw big sea turtles swimmin around. After dinner, Lauren and I would go down on the beach and you would see big ol' momma sea turtles swim right up in front of you and waddle up the beach and start digging big holes to bury their eggs in. Then, the resort staff would dig up the eggs and when they’d hatch they’d let you carry the little turtles down to the shore and let the go in the ocean…only to be eventually eaten by the common predators of the Caribbean, or end up in soup at one of the hotel restaurants. Tasty little suckers!!!

We went on the coolest trips while we were down there. We first went to the Tulum ruin which was a Mayan city right on the beach. It was cool to think of the Lamanites and Nephites walking around and their daily lives. What wasn’t expected was some of the scandalous ladies on the beach there…with kids around! I bet they were French. But it was cool to see the architecture of everything and the iguanas crawling over everything. And oh man was it hot. We were dyin, but worth it. I mean how often do you get to visit these places. It was awesome.

The next day we went on a zip line trip where we got harnessed up and flew over “cenotes” (see-note-ays) which were limestone caves that had caved in and filled with water. I guess I could have said we flew over lakes but that doesn’t sound tropical nor expensive and exclusive…so cenotes they are. Actually the trip was free for all people staying at the resort so very inexpensive. All the excursions were free and included! But the zip lining was a blast, especially doin it upside-down while flying through the forest. My ab muscles got such a work-out that in the picture below it looks like my inflamed abs are really just a full gut from not stop eating at our hotel...but its not... I swear... and stop looking at it. Look at our gay helmets instead.

The next day we went to Chichen Itza and it was so dang cool. We read in Mormon and Moroni about the culture the Nephites and Lamanites, so when we got off the bus and checked out all the sights and temples it was so easy to see that that was where they lived. There was Mormon stuff everywhere in the design of the buildings. I even bought a Kishkumen obsidian dagger! And while we were there it was the only time it rained our whole trip! We had the best weather ever...and in the middle of hurricain season. But the rain came at a good time, it was getting hot and the rain came down like a full-blast shower. Drenched. That bus smelled amazing on the three hour ride home...especially from a couple rows back where Capitan BackHair was sitting.

The rest of the time in Cancun we spent on the beach drinkin virgin pina coladas and banana monkies, watching the Olympics screamin our faces off for Michael Phelps, cruisin around downtown Cancun, and we even went Parasailing on Saturday which was so dang fun. Its the coolest feeling being so high up there with just the two of us lookin out on everything and seeing the fish swimming beneath us.

The whole trip was better than we could’ve hoped for. We had a blast together, saw so many cool things, relaxed on amazing beaches in perfect weather, ate our weight in free food, and just had a great time. I think we spent a total of $50 the whole trip! And that was cause we went to Planet Holleywood downtown for lunch. The room was sweet and the hotel and beach were so nice. I know I didn't post any beach pictures...I was forbidden. Lauren shouldn't have worried cause she looks amazing in a swimsuit, but I guess at the same time it saved me from showing the results an "all-you-can-eat" resort had on my body too, so thanks hun. Although we were sad to come home it was kinda time, ya know. It was nice to have that time just to ourselves, but it was exciting to see family and friends again and start our life together. I think we need to do a honeymoon every year!...Well at least until little rugrats get in our way!

Tagged...

2008-10-16T16:13:00.000-07:00

So Eliza tagged me with this Husband thing ha ha, I have never done this before and I hope Ryan doesn't get mad at any of my answers:)

Another Tag.... The Husband

1. Where did you meet your husband? Well I dont know if we actually met somewhere, but I went on a date with Jesse (Ryan's cousin) first and we found out that we were in the same ward and the next Sunday Ryan saw me at church and asked Jesse if he knew who I was and Ryan ended up asking me on a date that week. So I didn't meet him until he picked me up for our first date:)
2. How long did you date before you married? We dated for about a year and 5 months. There was a summer break in there where we didn't really date, but just kinda talked
3. How long have you been married? 2 months and 7 days ha ha
4. What does he do that surprises you? He takes seriously the longest showers EVER! Way longer than any girl I know
5. What is his favorite feature? I love his eyes, they are blue with pretty eyelashes... One time I put mascara on them to see what it would look like because they are blonde. Ha ha so so funny... Maybe I will put the picture up here sometime
6. What is his favorite quality? I love his personality. He always can make me laugh and is honestly the nicest, cutest, husband ever! He does so much for me.
7. Does he have a nickname for you? Um... I dont know, sometimes he calls me Laur-Dog
8. What is his favorite food? He loves lots of stuff like tacos, steak, the restaurant tempanyaki and really hot hotsauce:)
9. What is his favorite sport? He is really good at volleyball, tennis, and golf, but he also love basketball, football, and baseball. Ha so pretty much everything. Sunday afternoons full of football all day are so special...
10. When & where was your first kiss? Ha ha it was at my apartment my freshman year and we had been on a couple dates. It was so late and we were all trying to go to bed but he kept sitting there so my roomates went to bed and he kissed me.
11. What is your favorite thing to do as a couple? We love to go on vacations to vegas and Arizona, but pretty much anywhere too I guess. We also love making treats and hanging out with friends
12. Do you have any children? Nope. Not for a few more years
13. Does he have any hidden talents? ha ha oh man... he thinks he has an opera voice and should maybe be in musicals or something. SO funny.
14. How old is he? Just turned 27!
15. Who said I love you first? He did when he came down to Arizona over Christmas break. It was so fun!
16. What is his favorite music? Um... I guess everything pretty much.
17. What do you admire most about him? That he is such a hard worker and so so smart! If I have any questions about anything he pretty much knows it. Crazy. He is seriously awesome. He built our whole house and it is SO cute. He also is so amazing at talking to scary people for work and he just knows exactly what to say and how to say it. He also knows so much about the church and is such an amazing example to me in every way.
18. What is his favorite color? Blue
19. Will he read this? Oh for sure
20. Who do you tag? Um... Mom, Bree, Alexis, Chelsea

Random Stuff!

2008-10-08T20:13:00.000-07:00

OK Ryan is supposed to blog about the auction and our honeymoon for real this time... we will see if it happens:) So it was Ryan's 27th birthday on Monday!! Holy smokes that's a lot of years to be alive! I guess not really, but it was fun! He has had about four different small birthday things over the last couple days. He opened presents in the morning, the afternoon, at dinner that night, then Jason brought over the yummiest ice cream cake for him, and some the next day. Seriously no one is going to be able to think of things to get him for Christmas. Well at least a fun big thing! With all the birthday treats and stuff I swear we eat one thing and then another one comes right before the other one is finished. Of course I eat 90% of them... Special. Anyway, our first couple months being married has been so much fun and I love it so much. Ryan is the BEST and I hope he had the best birthday ever! Love you Ry!!

My sister Shanni and her friend Clara also just got here today! It is so fun. We have tons of fun things planned for the few days that they are here. They are so cute, they flew here with just them two to come see us and Clara's sister Hannah. Mom, there will be pics up of everything everyday:)

So one thing I am really sad about is the cold starting to come... I had to break out all my sweatshirts and long sleeve shirts. YUCK. The winters seriously last forever here!! Ha we haven't written about anything in so long, but one funny thing that Ryan and I went to a few weeks ago was the national sheep dog championships! Ha ha so crazy/amazing. We were just driving to look at some homes in Midway and we were curious to see what it was. Come to find out it was a HUGE deal. People from all over the world were there and it was packed. It was amazing to see a dog run all the way up the whole mountain and bring like 18 sheep around the course on the mountain. I never knew it was such a big deal for people. It was definitely interesting!

Oh and we just got called to be the 14/15 year old Sunday school teachers in our ward! We are both really excited! Hopefully it will be a fun class. We meet in a ward building that was built in 1898!! So so old. I love it.

Here are a few random pics of all the stuff goin on...

Wedding Lo-Down

2008-09-21T22:18:00.000-07:00

So this is my very first blog post thing hah and I am just figuring out how to do everything. Ryan and I decided it was about time post about our wedding even though it was over a month ago. It is awesome finally being married and getting all of the wedding plans and stuff over with. It is so much work and I am just happy that I can HELP with others now and not be the one getting married. I really did love it though. It was so fun having everyone come down to Mesa and be there with us. I hope that everyone was able to have fun. Thanks so much for all who helped with everything and brought stuff down for us! I also have so so many pictures that the photographer took of everyone there that I can get copies for you if you want, just let me know!

So the actual day of our wedding went pretty smooth I guess... well as good as it can go in a house full of girls. Ha ha we all cried for the first couple hours and I had to put frozen bags of vegtables on my eyes so they wouldn't be so puffy while my cousins did my hair. The ceremony was amazing and I loved seeing everyone there with us. It couldn't have been better. Luckily there was no opportunities for passing out this time... The day flew by and the reception turned out amazing. We were so nervous about the monsoons coming but there was not a drop of rain. All of the decorations and small things ended up coming together and it looked amazing thanks to all the help from all family. I couldn't have done it without them. Ha ha even down to the video on the wall that showed pictures of Eric instead of Ryan. We finally got done standing in line and left about twenty minutes later... No food or getting to really enjoy the reception. I don't recommend that at all. We left the next morning, bright and early to Cancun, wich ryan wants to write about for the next post... It was amazing! Anyway, even though this is a little late we just wanted to tell a little about it and tell everyone thanks for all the help and coming out of your way to support us. We love you!

Wedding Pictures!! Finally...

2008-09-21T18:32:00.001-07:00

LAST DAY BEIN SINGLE!!!

2008-08-08T13:36:00.001-07:00

Yep, last day!!! Good thing. It's weird cause it just feels like a normal friday and that nothing life changing is about to happen. Is that normal? Well whether thats normal or not I'm excited that Lauren will be my wife tomorrow and that this new stage of life is beginning. PLus, its good news for all ya'll cause she make sure this blog is updated frequently!! Haaaa. Craziness! How fun is this!

ENGAGED!!!

2008-05-05T20:03:00.000-07:00

WELL, its been a busy few days for the Nelson Boys, I'll tell ya what. We are all about bringin' new girls into the family! I'll let Eric tell you all about his cute girl and I'll get going and tell you guys all about mine!!

So I've been dating Lauren for about 9 months (since about September of last year) and I've known and dated her on and off (lets be honest, mostly on) since late March of last year. She has been in love since our first date (no matter what she says, and if not in love than at least in lust...haha) and I played along at first. Ok, well, before I get beat down I'll just say we both had a ton of fun together and didn't really take each other too seriously at first. We were all about takin it easy and havin a good time and not over thinking things...just being good friends, benefits included of course. But she left for a couple of months and by the end of that summer I was missin my best friend, so it was fun to just to have her back in Utah and see how dating "seriously" (cause we are such serious people) would go. And it's been fun ever since.

So I waited for Lauren's friends and relatives to start askin all the "what's the deal" questions, and then waited even longer to finally hear her say "well we need to start at least thinking of what marriage would be like" before I even said a dang thing. Haa I'm a jerk I know but I figured I'm only gunna have one go at this so I might as well enjoy all parts of it. But I had been thinking about it for a long time and was lovin every minute of it as I waited until everything was right.

And so about a month ago I took her ring shopping and got an idea of what she liked. And being the terd that I am, I didn't really say anything to her about the ring after that...I just let her think "Ryan better be gettin his butt in gear and buy me a ring". And I was. But I wanted to get one made... so as she wondered why I was always late picking her up, I would just tell her I was at the FedEx store (located conveniently next to Goldesign Jewelers haha). So last Monday I went back to Arizona with her and her sister. They were done with school and I had to be at an auction in Scottsdale on Wednesday so I thought it was the best time to get engaged. The plan was to have the ring the Friday before I left and either propose at the auction, or on a hike that I had Chad scope out while he was down there. But the ring wasn't done of Friday...or Saturday...or Monday (the day we left to Arizona)...or Tuesday...but on Wednesday guess what?! Nope, still not on Wednesday...or Thursday. So finally a freakin week after it was due they shipped me the ring in Arizona on Friday morning. It turned out very nice...it better have! And they even paid for the shipping and took off a hundred bucks, how thoughtful. I mean, all I had to do was delay my flight home and mix up my plans and make her wait. No biggie.

Anywho, that Tuesday I was at the mall with Lauren and her cousin and I could overhear Lauren saying, "Well I can't look at dresses til I have a ring", and I overheard her cause she said it loud enough for the old deaf lady walking next to us to hear. So I said, "Well hun, maybe if you'd let me know what you like I could have an idea and finally get you one!" Then came the "ARE YOU KIDDING ME's" and "YOU ARE NOT SERIOUSes" and so on and so forth. So I said, "Well lets go look right now". And after going into 4 or 5 ring stores and acting all excited so as to not make the sales people feel too bad as we walked out without buying a ring, she asked if I finally "got the idea", and I said I did hahaha. I'm so freakin funny and tricky that I can't help but to think I'm hilarious.

Friday morning was the tricky part. Thats when I asked Big Daddy Davis the big question. I wanted to talk with him earlier in the week but whenever I was about to, someone, as if on cue, walked in the room and sat down. So I got up at 5:12 a.m. Friday morning and sat in the family room and read my scriptures until he came out... since that was the quiet time in the Davis house. So sure enough he came out and I said, "So uh, what would you think about me marrying your daughter?" And he looked straight ahead and said, "Ryan, are you sure you want to wish that upon yourself?" And we laughed and had a good talk. He said it would be a great thing and approved, so now all I had to do was pop the question to Lauren.

So on Saturday morning Lauren and I (both of us destroyed our legs in this BodyPump class the day before that her aunt teaches) got up to hike Piestewa Peak (also known as Squaw peak...can you believe it) in the middle of Phoenix. Both of us knew we were going to die but I thought it'd be extra funny if we got tore up as we hiked 1.2 miles up the steep peak on our busted legs. Sure enough, we were hurtin, but I loved it cause I knew what it was for. So as we hiked I stopped about a quarter way up the trail and got on a knee and said, "Lauren, will you..." and she cut me off and said, "Oh stop it and get up". So I finished and said, "will you...wait for me as I tie my shoe?!" A swift "You're retarded!" came back at me. So about halfway up the trail I stopped, got on a knee and said, "Lauren, will you...take a look at this cool rock i found?!" "Ahhh, so DUMB" is what I heard as I looked up and saw her back as she had already started back up the trail 10 feet away from me. I hurried and caught up only to hear her say, " I already know you don't have a ring so quit tryin to be funny." Oh, but I was funny. Very funny. Witty even. Plus I'm an Office fan and took that cue from Jim, even though I already wanted to do it before I heard Jim say that on the show...it just made it that much better cause it made Lauren even more bugged cause she knew the joke from the show. So, three-quarters up it was time for the last joke and I took a knee and said, "Lauren, will you...wait for me for a sec, I'm so tired." She belted out a "You're so retarted! Not even funny at all!" But a guy who was hiking by us heard the whole fake proposal and her response and laughed his head off...so contrare mofrare, I was funny.

Anyway, we got to the top only to find twenty other people up there and I was so bummed. There was no real place to be alone. So I looked around and to the left I saw a peak that was a little higher, but you had to do some actual climbing to get there. I convinced Lauren to come up with me and there was just one little spot for one person to sit. So I had her sit and I knelt next to her cause that was the only real option. It was perfect. We looked out over the valley and had that peak all to ourselves, just us. I looked at her and was so excited. I was so happy that I had to pull out the ring before I let some tears out cause they were on their way... I had been waiting for this, and even though I had no idea how I was going to do it once we got to the top, it was perfect. So on May 3rd at 10:30 a.m. I pulled out the ring, and asked her to be my wife. She looked and the ring, then me, then at the ring, then me, and then said, "Are you serious?!?! YES!" It was a feeling I won't forget anytime soon. So we put on the ring only to find out it was a little tight and cut off all circulation and turned her finger purple immediately haaa. So after lots of tugging, some spit, and some tore off skin, it came off and the finger was saved. Luckily it ended up fitting just fine later.

So there you have it, I'm a lucky man. Only took 26 years to find my wife...the exact amount that I needed. I couldn't think of a better reason to wait that long than to find her. I love you Lauren! So for all you reading this, keep the weekend of August 8th or 9th open! Cause thats when this couple is gettin hitched!! Oh and PS... For all you who think this was sappy or whatever, what'd you think was gunna happen at the end of a blog entiltled, "ENGAGED!!!"

Right After The Proposal
Look at that smile!!!

Finger turning purple

Desperately trying to rescue the finger

On Top Of The World

Ahhh Yeahhhh

Here are some other pics...I couldn't get some of them to turn

What Are We Coming To...

2008-02-10T15:31:00.000-08:00

Ok, so Romney is out, only Democrats are left (including Mr. Lame-Poo-Stain John McCain, D-Arizona), people don't seem to care about their country, football is over, Arby's doesn't have Homestyle fries anymore, AND the groundhog saw his shadow. Dang you Punxsutawney Phil and your miraculous power to make winter continue. I never really noticed how a rodent can influence the way I dress, pretty incredible actually. But ya know, I decided that just because things don't always happen like I think they should, life is still pretty dang fun.

I mean, like President Hinckley said, "I've never been more optomistic about the future". And he was and is a prophet and could forsee so much. So why not go about my day and have fun, even when I know the rest of the world wants to throw itself in the trash. They can elect a reject to run the country, only serve curly fries which I just discovered, make TV's too expensive for me, and all that junk... But life is still good. Cause hey, Cafe Rio is still tasty, Slurpees are as good as ever, I rented my basement out, BJ's has pazooki's (Cookies and Cream can't be beaten) and I'm dating possibly the cutest girl ever. And when I take Lauren to the movies, guess whats there to accompany our date...Cherry Coke. See, good stuff is everywhere. Oh ya, this one time like two days ago we went to the dollar theater and I made her put this gallon of Simply Lemonade in her purse and sneak it in... it was awesome. People were so jealous of my citrus enjoyment, I could tell even in the dark. But that's just the point, so many good things. So when life is crap and so many bad things are happening aound you, life is dealing out lemons... Go ahead and just buy yourself a thing of Simply Lemonade at your local store and it'll put a big ol smile on your mug. Especially when its snuck in a theater. Thanks Lauren.

Back from the dead...fo real this time, I think...

2008-01-21T10:46:00.000-08:00

K, I'm so sorry for not talking to everyone for so dang long. I work non stop it seems and when I want to write a blog due to everyone hounding me, I still realize my computer is busted and I also realize I'm broke and can't fix it AND I'm a slacker above all so thats probably the most honest reason. But I do love these things so I wanna be better at writin crap haaa.

Life is good though. The house, MY house, is basically done. I mean I can sleep there, the heat works, I can go #1 AND #2 there, and now I can shower there too. Which means I have hot water and all the appliances work. Only thing, and its a bigee for any place to feel like a real home, NO TV yet. Sad day. So it still feels like my house isn't a home yet. I guess people before the 1900's only lived in houses, not homes. I love this dispensation, thats for sure.

Other than that I just hang out with this really cute girl Lauren all the time. Lots of fun. However, I just realized that if I was a little more cheap on our dates I could have that TV for the house to make it a home. Oh well, she's better than a TV. Unless we're talkin about the new Samsung 52" 1080p flatscreen LCD... then I might have to really ponder haha. I wander around BestBuy day dreaming sometimes... But alas, I've come to see girls are so much better than TV's, especially this one, so thats why I spend most of my free time, and even my not-so-free-time, with her. Like when she comes to Home Depot and Lowes with me haha, she's a trooper. So I guess she is partially to blame for my lack of blogging also. Except for that she always tells me I need to quit bein a dork and finally blog again...

This one is kinda a short lil post. I love the word "lil" by the way... you know, like lil smokies. Tasty! Costco usually has great lil smokie testers on saturdays by the way if you don't wanna wait to go to some Mormon wedding reception to get your next lil bite of one. Anyway, I'm takin more pictures now so the next post will be more exciting and Bob Ross colorful like. Oh, and one more thing, another In-and -Out knock off just opened up right next to my house! Just like it. Its called EZ Take Out Burger... "California's Own" in fact... These guys are gay but hey, tastes the same...that is if you really like In-and-Out and are not just a weird trendy Utard and think its the best thing ever when in fact its just a dang hamburger. But ya, I call it E.Z.T.O.B. for short. Now who's gay! haaaa K, I'll put pics up soon.

I Blame It On the Devil...

2007-09-10T08:14:00.000-07:00

I know, I'm a horrible person. I should've made a post years ago, or at least a month ago. But in the blogging world, especially this world of bloggers that I'm so proudly associated with, not blogging for a month is equivalent to years, decades even...And I blame it on her...the devil...

I was so worried about this evil influence taking over the minds of the people of this great country that I went on a crusade to defeat the evil forces of the biotch and, armed with just a backpack full of pork and beans, and most importantly, common sense, I toured the nation speaking at elementary schools everywhere. I spoke at DARE assemblies, carnivals, field days, even hosted a cake walk and a bike rodeo all to keep the young children aware of the evil that surrounded them. And since their minds are so impressionable at this young age I made it my goal to make sure that I would get in their heads before the biotch could...and hopefully my message will make it to the children's parents...because maybe since they say that this country will ran by our children one day, parents might take that literally and start listening to their children and maybe revert back to common sense and see through all the flawed logic that comes out of peoples mouths...especially the devil.
So, naturally, as I was on my course to save this proud nation, the devil and her forces tried to combat me by stealing my computer which would not allow me to blog, thus taking away from me the communication with my most powerful allies in this great cause that I have undertaken. And without the sarcasm and straight-faced humor that would so easily convince the weak ones of the voting population, I was left to myself, and my backpack of pork and beans and 4-year old slim jims, to put this evil force in the ground once and for all. But alas, I realized that after fighting a good fight, that if people couldn't figure out how idiotic this lady was along with all her hooligans then this country would be too dumb to live in...that, and I ran out of cash and couldn't find a 7-11 for the life of me and needed to come back home and trust in the common sense of the people.
So I came home, graduated from college with my big bro, broke my tooth in half while on a date, went on some vegas trips to fix that tooth cause superglue isn't that super, bought a house, wrecked Chad's car, went on some fun dates, built the biggest slip n slide of all time, and pretty much had some fun.
Oh and I sued the devil in the seventh district court for the unlawful seizure of personal property (my computer) and the judge decided the devil was wrong on the grounds of common sense and stated in his summation that if all people in this land could see through this woman's lies no more foolish things would ever happen in this nation, such as someone taking Ryan's computer so he couldn't blog in forever...or somethin like that.

The Dang Hill...The Last Dang Time

2007-06-26T11:08:00.000-07:00

So last Thursday I took my last test of all BYU-dom and walked for the last time down that dang hill. Ya know, I thought I was going to be sad for some reason, cause I loved my BYU time and the classes were a blast...but nope, no sadness here. Not even a bit, no tears shed. I was all smiles as I walked down those dang stairs on the way back to my car around 8 pm on Thursday. In fact, I was so elated on the way down that I had to stop and say a prayer and thank Heavenly Father that this was the last time I had to ascend this dangged slope...and of course for everything else He had done for me in college...but my heart was really into that first part. I was so excited that this was the last time I had to climb up the Dang Hill (A.K.A. Rape Hill or the stairs south of campus) and that I never had to do it again unless for some reason I decided to out of my own free choosing.

Now don't get me wrong, I don't mind going down the hill at all, its quite enjoyable actually...mainly because as you are walking down you are very keenly aware that if you taking steps in the downward direction that expressly means that you are not climbing the hill, which makes the walk so nice and enjoyable. But really, the hill is beautiful. It has hundreds of different kinds of trees, even a Giant Sequoia, and tons of flowers and all that. So it looks like a totally different place from Provo as you are coming DOWN the hill. As you walk up the hill, all you can see is the dang steps and reliaze that you are SO late to class and how you need to stop eating crap food and get in shape dang it! But the way down is quite beautiful, so beautiful in fact that you need to go get some Wendy's and a Slurpee to keep enjoying the moment...and the cycle continues...oh wait, no it doesn't! Thursday was it! Haaaaa!

Anyway, I loved BYU. I'm sure I'll still go up there and sneak into some religion classes and check out the freshman in the library or somethin (actually people watching in the library could be one of the best activities on the whole dang planet). And I'll still go to the football games as long as they don't suck...cause I'm a fairweather fan who wears a UNLV shirt to all the games anyway. It was all fun. But it's time to finally make some cash!!! Dang it.

So I Suck, I Know...

2007-05-14T12:13:00.000-07:00

Well you are very right...I need somethin new to post. But you see, it wouldn't be fair to you, nor to myself, if I just decided to post some whimsical entendre of nothingness just to satisfy the salacious appetite of the chronic blogger. No, it wouldn't be prudent, nor wise, even in the least bit. Some things require both time and patience in order for their grandeur to be truly esteemed with proper, dare I say...sumptuousness, when they finally appear; such as the slow geoding of a diamond, Halley's Comet, the Boston Red Sox winning a World Series, a democrat making a valid point, and even a new blog posting. Rushing into something that requires proper imperturbability, would be like eating brownies that are all cool and runny in the middle (which aren't half bad if you've got the right ice cream and stuff to go with it). But blogs don't come with ice cream, just the occasional frog legs and slurpee. But its those occasional's that give the post its flavor, you see. If I were to post the less-exciting everyday events, I would thus lose the savor of this delicious dish belonging to a supernal blogging feast of joy. Now that wouldn't be good. Not to mention, fasting from time to time is both healthy to the body and the spirit. So wait with me, just for a few hours or so, and I'll put something on your palettes to enjoy. Truth be told, I just don't have crap to write and I've been slackin on my blogging. I'll fix it!!

The Most Ridiculous Items of the Day...ala Fox News

2007-04-15T00:21:00.000-07:00

Everyday is full of ridiculous things...especially in Happy Valley...Especially here. I found that some days need a little nudge to make sure that there is some active entertainment so as to not go crazy with boredom in Provo, hence the frog legs in the last post. So, for this little segment on The Late Blog, I decided to tell a story about Jesse and I's little run in the fine men and women in blue of the Provo PoPo Department.

To make a short story shorter, we went to Wal-Mart and happened to walk by a sweet little 25 dollar paintball gun. Jesse had to buy it, and I had to laugh. The thing is, Boredom+Paintball=Bad Idea. Especially in freakin Provo. So we drove by some friends' houses and shot up their windows... One group of particularly unhappy neighbors decided to chase us and since we were in a cousin's Audi, they didn't know who we were. So we wound through Provo neighborhoods (at the speed limit of course) and lost them a few times. In frustration, they called the police and the whole force showed up. We pulled over before they turned their lights and sirens on (because we are amazing citizens and believe in civic responsibility). We showed them the gun and they made us get out of the car and sit on the curb while the four cop cars and the 6 cops stood around, doing nothing. The main cop was way cool and said that everyone showed up cause they have absolutely nothin to do. Then he called our neighbors who we paintballed and told them we did it cause we thought they were fat and ugly. I was havin a good time on that curb, no lie. So they let us off, which was a miracle cause if they would've found Jesse's loaded .40 under the seat that fool would've been screwed! He doesn't have the license for his piece yet... So as they were giving all our ID's and stuff back, good ol Tommy Sorensen and our buddy Eric drove by and saw us in our predicament. Anyway, all we had to do was clean up their windows (which all the cops followed us over to the house to watch us do) and I decided that since we home teach them, that counted as our visit. Not bad, we got it done early in the month! Ridiculous.

I just had a run in with the head of the Physics Department at BYU. He was guest-lecturing in our class and decided to bring up the idea of human-caused global warming, and defend it! Bad idea for him. I let him speak for a bit, then the gloves came off. I let him have it. He tried to defend his stance and asked what I knew about it, and so I unloaded the things and interviews I've studied, and stated one report that contradicted the slide that he had up on the screen and backed it up with an IPCC report I just read. I then asked him a few questions that he couldn't answer and then he stated that he really was just beginning to learn about global warming and had only read one book on the subject. He then thanked me for studying and said that's what his point was, to encourage us to find out and search for ourselves about the world around us. I bet. Ridiculous.

Now, there are many ridiculous items, too many to mention, especially in Utah. It would be impossible to name them all. Sometimes you just have to appreciate the ones you can remember and watch the O'Reilly Factor for the rest. I'll be honest, I don't watch that show too much cause Sportcenter is on at the same time, but he's got the idea. Well, big gulps eh? See ya later.

Ain't No Thang But A Chicken...Uhhh, Frog Legs

2007-04-04T18:47:00.000-07:00

Sometimes you get those cravings ya know...usually for a Slurpee, pizza, or candy or crap like that. Unless your very ethnic, your probably not gunna wanna eat frog legs, cause dude, they're freakin frog legs. Well I guess if you're at Carlos and Charlie's down in Mexico somewhere you might wanna give'em a try, cause you're already sick and on the toilet from the water down there anyway. But, walking through Smiths, Jesse and I saw that a big ol package of tender, juicy, large calved, small human-lower-torso-lookin, meat things were only $2.88. And when you're in college and sick of Ramen or 3-pound bags of shredded coconut, frog legs start to look tasty. So we took our sweet find over to Courtney, Lindsey, and Stephanie's and cooked them bad boys up...And don't they look amazing...especially the "spread eagle" ones... Good gosh ya'll.

So to tell the truth, they weren't bad at all, a little bland, but not bad. Throw some Durkee Hot Sauce on those thighs and calves and they taste a heck of alot like chicken. The best part was sticking a piece of the meat in Lindsey Maxfield's mouth and watchin her squirm cause she is deathly afraid of frogs...weird, I know. But she took it like a champ.

Speaking of weird fears, Courtney Bingham has the most ridiculous phobia, one for which I share no sympathy with her. Uh, who in their right mind can be afraid of Shamoo? I mean, sounds like a joke right? It should be a joke. What is scary about a giant aquatic mammal, who although may weigh tons according to us land dwellers, floats effortlessly through it's own Sea World "Believe" Tank. Not only is this animal glorious to behold, it is friendly with the human folk, allowing them to ride on its back and give Sea World a ridiculous profit. Sure, herring and other fish have a reason to dread the beautiful orca, but not us. That's racism, which is also ridiculous because Shamoo is both black and white, as well as especially playful.

Moral of the story, try somethin new. Frog legs might suck, and not hit the spot every night, but be adventurous and try new crap/stuff. Like sushi (the Vegas roll and Happy Sumo is delightful), or alligator tail, or tongue tacos. But not escargot cause the idea of eating snails is just freakin stupid... leave it to the French to set humanity back a notch for puttin that junk on a menu. Give me freedom fries and a steak sandwich any day (try Steak Out in the Riverwoods, tastiness indeed), ...damn French.

By the way, I think I set a world record with like 7 chins in this picture, or cheeks I guess. Nevertheless, I might try fried frog legs again, especially if they keep selling them at 5 bucks a dozen, that's like 24 legs! Oh, also, all-you-can-eat crab legs at Magelby's for 10.99. I know that that might not be so special to all you Californyuns, but for all us who are stuck in the mountains, it's good eatin. One last suggestion, try throwin some whipper snappers in your mouth when you're eatin pretzels or other bite size food...it'll add a whole new experience to your dining life. Trust me.

I'm Not Finished Yet....!!!

2007-03-21T23:18:00.000-07:00

So, anyone who knows me knows that I wasn't the most "careful" kid when I was growing up. I found a certain amount of joy riding in the car on the way to the hospital to get stitched up by my favorite nurses. I never really understood why you needed to look before you leaped cause clearly leaping is so much fun and looking wastes so much recess time. Maybe thats why I have big calves too, don't know. But apparently I wised up and haven't done any self-inflicted cranial damage in quite sometime. Whelll, yesterday I finally got sick and tired of not having any fresh face damage and decided that a metal rigid steel grinding brush would be the perfect thing to re-live all those good times and have some fun!! Boy oh boy did I have some fun, who needs Disneyland when you can do this...
Ya, I know, doesn't get much more fun than that. Luckily, the grinder flew back at my face at about mach-8 so it hit so hard it numbed me right up. After a quick "s" bomb and a quick check to make sure all my teeth were still in my head and that my eyes were still working (my protective glasses were thrown about 15 feet off my hizead), I finally got to laugh, just like the good ol days. The best part was that so many people got to laugh with me. Eric, who was standing right by me in fact, was so stoked about my return to childhood that instead of asking if I was ok and if he could help, said, "Hey, wait right there, and don't wipe the blood off! I got to get the camera so we can get this on tape!" That's what big bros are fo. I'll post the tape as soon as we get it downloaded, so all can enjoy. I know the people at Home Depot sure enjoyed looking at my oozing face complete with 40+ half circle cuts. I saw one little boy look at me with such jealousy due to the fun I obviously had the his mouth dropped open and he ran to his older brother and said. "Did you see his face! Wow! What did he do?!" One day he'll catch the vision of what having a good time is all about...I'm just glad I was there to start that boy's desire to go have his own fun. Anyway, moral of the story, grinding steel can be a good time, especially since you won't have to shave and BYU can't argue with you about it. Haaaaa! Latea crackas.

We Are Two Wild and Crezy Guys!!!

2007-03-12T18:38:00.000-07:00

So not only are we hot and good looking guys now, but we were some sexy beasts back then too!! OK, OK, so maybe Brock and I are digressing in our good looks, but it's good to remember the good ol' days of busted up foreheads and blond afros. These were the days of bombs we made by filling up Pepsi bottles full of dirt, then lighting a fuse we put in it and running as fast as out little legs would carry us. We learned that even if I thought cashews were good, they'd make Brock swell up like a balloon and pass out til he's almost "walking toward the light". It's fun to light fires. Its scary to run from parents who see us lighting those fires. Walking to 7-11 everyday is good exercise. Eating a cake that you know has egg whites in it is a bad idea. Crackin your skull helps you get to know the medical staff at the "hosible" real well. "Hey look Aunt Sue, look how good I can swim"...as he gradually sinks into the deep end. However, laying down on the hot concrete pavement is a great way to dry off after a good swim. Nintendo is a member of the family...and we spent alot of "family time" downstairs. Since when were fireworks just for the 4th of July? Aren't they for whenever you find them?!

We learned that Field Day is the best day, no matter if you're gold or maroon, but it seemed like maroon always won. The bike rodeo was also pretty dang rad. It was good to make friends with kids who had hot air balloons cause we sure as frick weren't gettin one of those. And it's also fun to go fight friends just because Eric tells us to. Going to work with our dad's was so much fun...til we actually had to work, then it sucked. You can find all sorts of crap when you walk around in the desert all day. And you can expect to find a butt whoopin when you walk all the way to Ed Fountain Park with your two little sisters who got heat exaustion from the expedition.

But, all these lessons and experiences lead to just a few things...everything good back then is still good now, except for those cashews, they're still bad. Big gulps eh?? Well, see ya later!

Glory Days Fo All Ya'll

2007-03-10T22:22:00.000-08:00

So the music definitely fits the year... I'm not sure if its George Dare, the "Runnin Rebel Fever" guy, singing this, but it's pretty cheesy/rad. Is George Dare gay? And I just remember KJ having a huge crush on Anderson Hunt. She still has a little jungle fever in her.

Rebels are DANCIN babay!!

2007-03-10T22:01:00.000-08:00

So UNLV is finally back in the big tournament and should be ranked pretty dang well too. Maybe if we're lucky we'll face off with sorry ace Duke in the second or third round, and deliver them a long awaited butt kicking. Anyway, my mom was in the room when UNLV beat BYU and she was not too happy with me for not cheering for the Church school and the school I actually attended. But hey, now I get to wear RED on Monday and instigate all day! I have a 40 minute presentation in one of my classes and I can't wait to be sportin' Rebel clothes as the BYU fans in the class will undoubtedly still be a little butt hurt about the loss tonight. Anyway, lets do a bracket tournament or somethin. Who's in? REEEEEEEBBBBEEELLLLLSSSS!!!! Talk amongst yourselves...I'll give you a topic...People here always say "Go Cougs". What in theee hell is a "coug"? ...Discuss.

Dreams are so weird

2007-03-08T11:24:00.000-08:00

So last night I had this dream where I was supposed to get married in the Las Vegas Temple and I wasn't excited at all. In fact, I was so unenthused that I didn't remember to tell anyone about it. So I started to text people to let'em know that I was getting married at 8 pm that night. So Taylor, who was in the room, texts me back and says, "I'm so glad you're finally growing up, have a great wedding!" And so I put the phone down and said, "Uh, are you not going to come?" And he was all, "Nah, I've got to take Mandy out." I was jealous cause I didn't want to go to my wedding either. Then Brock didn't wanna come, and my mom was even deciding on whether or not to miss Law and Order to come. So as I thought about it, I remembered a dream I had a few months ago (which was so real and a story in and of itself!) where I didn't want to get hitched to this one chick and ditched her in the sealing room while all our family was there...and so I thought, I better just call my fiance, whoever she was, and tell her I wasn't going to make it cause I wanted to go to Macayos and get some food, cause lets be honest, how often am I in Vegas and I better get some chips and salsa while I'm there?! Anyway, I woke up and felt bad, cause I was craving Macayos and it wasn't there.

So the dream might not be that weird, but I remembered it all pretty clearly and I left out the parts about Chad inventing a helicopter-TV system where a small heckticopter is carrying a TV so that you can watch it anywhere. And I left out the red shag carpet was the coolest thing to have and mustard wallpaper was making a comeback as well. That's just weird.

P.S. I really don't have a fear of commitment and think marriage will be fun...just for all you psycho-analyzing weirdos who think this dream might say somethin about me.

Never Lose a "Walking Battle" Again!

2007-02-28T23:15:00.000-08:00

So you know when you're walking and another person is walking right at you from the other direction...and then the both of you have to make a decision about which way to move so that a nasty collision is avoided? More often than not you end up looking dumb and embarassed because the both of you start studder-stepping inches infront of each other. Well, not anymore! I've found a way to win that battle everytime and never play the fool ever again. It's so simple, yet completely effective. All you do is put your head down and keep walking. Thats it. The other person assumes you're not payin attention to the world around you so they better get out of the gosh dang way before the person with their head down crashes into them. It works. I try it all the time on campus, and I have never in the hundreds of times of potential embarassing run-in-to's EVER lost a battle. There was one time though that the person didn't move (because they were totally out of it) and we crashed. But it was all good cause she was cute and I ended up taking her out that weekend, so I count that as a victory. Anyway, try it. Next time you're walking in a crowded place, say Disneyland or The Great Wall, put your noggin down and watch everyone get the heck out the way. It'll change your life. It's like having the power of Fessic from Princess Bride when he says, "Everybody move!!". Totally awesome you guys.

Michael Jackson is surrounded by Mormons!

2007-02-27T00:11:00.000-08:00

I kid you not. Michael just bought a house in Vegas and he put himself smack dab in the middle of the Palmyra Ward. He is in the ward bounderies for the Kinghams, Eric and Lynita Nelson, and the Harbers! I swear, no joke. At first I thought it was a lie when I heard where he was living...but sure enough, I drove by with Jesse Harber and my friend Layne at like 1o pm last saturday night and I freakin saw him in his Bently with his windows down with his driver (I think he must have been a driver) and they were talkin to the gate guy. It was all lit up so you could totally see it was him. Weird. Anyway, if you're in town, his house is on the corner of Tara and Monte Cristo, the big gated one (look at the link). Two doors down to the north is where the NBA player Gary Payton's house is. I drove by the next morning and there were two pimped out caddies parked outside and the license plate I could read said, "Big J", on it. How weird is it that he's in my aunts' and uncles' ward?! Maybe they can find a way to get him baptized...I hear the nursery and young mens could use some help. Here's some proof for all you skeptics: http://www.usmagazine.com/i_us_i_exclusive_michael_jacksons_new_house

Should I date or get a root canal?

2007-02-25T23:20:00.000-08:00

Right now both look about the same as far as funness go. And, lucky me, I need to do both. A filling just fell out of a tooth due to some "exceptional" past dental work and now its killing cause crap keeps gettin in the hole. How dumb is that. I won't tell you the dentist's name, but if you ever had a filling fall out, ya, that guy did it. But like the good ol dentist says...that's not pain you're feeling, it's pressure. My A.

As far as the dating situation goes, its a little bit of pressure and pain. I started dating this girl in Vegas a couple of months ago and we've had alot of fun. Thing is, she lives and works in Vegas and I'm up here in Happy Valley. Long distance is super fun. Just like root canals. BUT (and that's a big butt ()() ) (<-- K, thats funny), this girl is a ton of fun, down to earth, and is a good girl. Herein lies the problem...she's dating me.

For some reason I just didn't get so attached to her as she did to me. I love spending time with her cause its far and inbetween that we get to hang out due to the distance factor, but for some reason I just haven't "come around" like she has... and I feel like crap. Cause now all the "what are we" questions start to get asked, which is fair for her to ask. Only now I need to be honest and tell her that as much as I have a blast with her, for some reason I'm just not as into the actual relationship as she is. What am I supposed to say..."Its not you it's me?" Ok thats absolutely true, but its absolutely lame to say. Dang it I suck.

So I finally had a good talk with her and she understood that I'm not looking for anything serious right now, but it still kills me inside to see her hurt and confused. Like she doesn't feel like she's good enough or some junk like that, which is not true. I just feel I should be totally into it if I'm gunna get serious, otherwise I'd just be leading this great girl on. I hate doing this stuff. Again, I suck.

Maybe I should just be a dentist. I could crappingly apply fillings to cover some pain I've caused, just like trying to cover the girl's hurt I caused by trying to explain why I'm confusing even myself. My explaining my feelings is just like a crappy filling. See, that was a crappy attempt at an analogy for an explanation...case in point. But, we've all been on both sides. We've all been shot down, and we've all had to explain why things weren't working. I just hate it. The freakin' "DTR's". Having a DTR is like throwing up...you hate to do it, you try not to...but once you spill your guts you feel alot better and maybe you can go eat some more.

In any case, my tooth hurts. My heart hurts cause this great friend I have isn't too thrilled with my "slow-movin" A right now. Maybe I should just be patient and take it slow with her and me. Any ideas? I mean, somehow you tards got married so I'd appreciate any insights. Til then, I'll keep flickin bits of steak and chips out of my gaping tooth hole with my toungue.

BYU fans are Idiots...

2007-02-23T00:12:00.000-08:00

Ok, here's the thing... when I say BYU fans are idiots I'm not speaking of the average go-to-a-game-just-for-fun fan. I'm talking about those guys who swear that BYU is the University of Heaven and that anyone who plays against them must surely have made a deal with Mr. Satan. So I'm at this BYU basketball game the other night and I'm tryin to be supportive to the whole BYU cause, because I go there and I know some of the cougarettes who dance during the time-outs (sweet), but I can't help but realize how stupid the people were who were sitting around me. Don't get me wrong, I understand that fans at a game aren't always well behaved or even make sense half the time, I know, I'm stupid like that sometimes. But not like this... These guys had THE worst trash talking of all time, it just didn't make any sense. D-U-M dumb. Not only that, but they thought they were the wittiest people who ever lived. It was driving me nuts... Sure I had a UNLV shirt on in the middle of all those idiots, and sure my shirt said, "Real Mormons are Rebels" on the back, and sure, UNLV wasn't even playing that night, but come on. Telling me that I was an apostate who was sure to burn in hell and that Nephi would be disappointed in me is a little dumb. Alot dumb. And believe me, there were much gay-er things said.

Now I can understand fans saying some pretty nasty things to other people at say, the Thomas and Mack or any other arena that sells beer. They have an excuse for acting like retards... alcohol. But not at BYU. There isn't even caffeine in the beverages there. No excuse for how bad of fans they can be. Unless these idiots are gettin hopped up on Mountain Dew before the game, they have no defense.

Now that bein said, I like BYU. I love going to the football games and all the other stuff there too. I just wish people there could think before they speak. Man alive. There is only one team that people should truly be spiteful of, and that is, of course, Duke. Duke can go to hell. And that is not a rash remark, it is well thought out and can be backed up by anyone who is rational. BYU may not literally be the Lord's University, but Duke's greatest supporter is the devil. That's the truth. And by the way, I heard that the devil is a democrat, and so Duke is a liberal college. So there ya go, proof enough.

Anyway, I love the BYU athletic program. I love going to the games. And I especially love wearing red to those games whether or not UNLV is playing. I just wish the fans there could be a little more, um, tactful. Ah, who cares.

I must be a late bloomer I guess

2007-02-22T22:14:00.000-08:00

Yeah yeah, it's about time that I get one of these blogs. I figure, I completely suck at journal writing and I love talking about myself, so hey, why the heck not. Two birds yo. Plus, reading everyone else's blogs makes me feel like I'm the last one from Vegas to finally give in and get one of these things...suckers. Not only that, but most of my friends are married so this gives me the opportunity on letting everyone know how much all ya'll are not missing out on when it comes to single livin. Single life is actually pretty good, probably alot like blogging...ya know, sittin alone tryin to think of cool things to say so that the people that hear you might just think you're awesome. Haaaaa. I'm just kiddin. Anyone who knows me knows that I don't need the confirmation from anyone for me to think I'm awesome. Oh man. In any case, it's good to start one of these things up. And maybe some of you will be inspired enough to set me up with one of your hot single friends so I can join the cool married club too, not only the cool blogging one! But until then, hopefully I can figure out how to post some entertaining things on this page and have some fun with it.